


Lurking in the Moonlight

by Kairi0020



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 10:41:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 35,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22154734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairi0020/pseuds/Kairi0020
Summary: Working long hours and getting paid very little, but having a caring heart, Sandra Daniels met a nice clown and a relationship blossoms between two lonely hearts. But how long will happiness last?An Arthur Fleck/Joker Love StoryAdult Subjects- Blood, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Sex, Strong Language, Nonconsent Touching.You have been warned.I do not own the rights to the Arthur Fleck/Joker or story plot.
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	1. Send In The Clowns

I bolted down the hallway, my heels clicking loudly against the surface of the floor as I try not to trip and wipe myself out. I was late. I accidentally fell asleep on my lunch break and was 5 minutes late. They must be here already. I could see the elevator closing at the end of the hallway.

"NO!" I shouted but it was too late, the doors closed. I tried pushing the button, but it was gone. "Damn it." I mumbled as I took off my shoes and nearly ripped off the door to the emergency stairway next to the stupid elevator. I ran up two flights of stairs at full speed, nearly taking out a few nurses on my way up. I pulled open the door, and took another sharp turn, speeding down the colorful hallway. Some doctors and nurses called out to me to slow down, but I was late. 

I was almost there, I could hear fun music and the sound of the children laughing from the other end of the hallway. My shoes in hand, I was out of breath and tried coming to stop as I entered the common room of the children's wing of the hospital, but I couldn't stop. My socks slid on the linoleum floor as I floundered trying to get my body to stop them moving. 

As I slid in, I see a clown in the center of the room dancing as all the children and a few staff members circled around, cheering and laughing watching him. I panicked as I felt my body go up into the air and come crashing down onto the very, very hard floor. I heard the staff gasp and the children laugh at me as I groaned from impact. I closed my eyes in agony. Not only was I late, but I also made one hell of an entrance. 

"Ms. Daniels! She made it!" One child exclaimed with excitement.

"Ms. Daniels!" A nurse called out.

"Hey, are you okay?" A new voice, a man's voice, said above me. I opened my eyes to see the party clown standing over me. He looked concerned under his painted-on smile. I couldn't help but smile. He wore a very obvious fake green wig, his face was covered in white makeup with blue diamond eyes, big red lips, and a red foam nose. He had on a suit that was too big for him, along with one of the doctor's coats. It was kinda funny.

I smiled up at him as a look of confusion came onto his face as I started to laugh. I grabbed the back of my head as I sat up. "I'm sorry to steal the spotlight." I looked into his eyes. "I just couldn't miss the show." I looked around at the children, putting on a big silly sad face. "Everyone would have been so sad if I missed all this." I laughed at myself as I got onto my feet as quickly as I could, wiping my hands on my black pants. "But I'm here!" I jumped up, doing a power pose as I did, making the kids laugh at my silly noise. "So the show can go on!"

He just awkwardly stared at me for a few seconds, almost frozen, probably not expecting someone to blast in during his show. 

"Ms. Daniels!" I heard one of the kids say behind me, I turned around to see a little girl, Sally, was holding one of my shoes. I gasped excitingly, "Oh thank you!" I gently took the shoe from her and put it back on my foot. I pretended to scratch my head, looking around the room for my other shoe. "Now where is my other shoe?" I hopped around dramatically, as I looked for my 'lost' shoe. The children all jumped, pointing and shouting that my shoe was on the other side of the clown. "I just can't find it."

"Cinderella!" I heard from my side, as I turned to see the clown kneeing on the floor on one knee, with my shoe in his hand. "I believe you lost your shoe." His smiled widen, as the little girls in the room swooned and awed over the gesture.

I gasped loudly and turned to one of the other children, Robert, and loudly whispered to him. "Do you think that's my shoe?" He was shy and nodded at me. I hopped over to the clown and tried to reach for my shoe, but he pulled it back from me. He motioned with his hands that he wanted my foot to put it on. I blushed for real, something I didn't embellish. I raised my foot up to him, as he grabbed my ankle and slipped my shoe on for me. 

The children and staffed clapped and wooed, and I held my face, mostly hiding my blush. I heard a song come on over the speakers of the room.

♪You are my sunshine, my only sunshine~♪

"You make me happy! When skies are gray!" I loudly sang and clapped as the clown started to dance around the room. I danced my way over to an open chair and pulled one of the children, Billy, onto my lap. We watched, clapped and sang along with the clown as he did a wonderful job. 

After the program had come to an end, the staff and I helped all the children make to their rooms as the clown hung around and made some of the children remaining laugh a bit more. I smiled at him, as the children ran away giggling. I walked up to him, as he stood up to greet me.

"Thank you for coming today. The children really enjoy laughing with someone who isn't me for a change." I laughed at myself, thinking what I said was funny. He chuckled a bit, looking awkward once it was just to two of us. 

"Anytime. I-I...um...love working with children." He stuttered, rubbing his hands together.

"You're not just saying that, are you?" I teased him, but it backfired when his eyes grew wide and a panicked look came onto his face. 

"NO! No, I mean it!" He yelled out before lowering his voice, to a room appropriate tone. "It's the best part of the job." He went back to be awkwardly nervous again. "Making them laugh."

"They're so easy, too." I joked, starting to feel awkward myself. I shifted from leg to leg, looking anywhere but him. "Well, I better get back to work." I pointed behind me, even though the door I need to leave through was behind him. 

I turned and walked away, "COFFEE!" He shouted out as I was a few feet away from him. I jumped at the volume, spinning back around to face him. He looked like he was holding himself together, his hand over his mouth, to which I almost heard the sounds of giggles come from him.

"E-excuse me?" I asked as I held my place, watching the clown having a self struggle with himself. After a few moments of tense silence between us, he finally let go of his mouth. 

"Would you like to go get coffee?" He said it so fast, I almost missed what he said. I looked around, looking to see if anyone else was around. Surely he wasn't asking me. I finally turned back to him and pointed at myself. He nodded, reassuring he did ask me.

"Ummm.... right now?" I lifted up my arm, pulling back my long white sleeve to check the time. 4:52, I should have left work an hour ago, but I still had some budgets I needed to figure out. "I can't right now, but maybe in an hour. How about 6?"

He looked dumbfounded at my response, surprised with my answer. "Y-Yeah, t-that's fine. That's great. 6 o'clock. Gives me time to ...." He pulled at his clothes, before nervously chuckling. 

"OK. I'll meet you in the lobby in an hour." I smiled and turned back around to walk away but I remember an important piece of important I forgot to get from him. I spin back around again. "My name is Sandra by the way."

"Arthur."

"See you in an hour....Arthur." I smiled, testing out his name as I continued walking away from him, but decided to turn back around and walk past him. "I need to go this way," I whispered and hurried out the doorway, trying not to show him my flushed face. He chuckled as I made my way down the corridor.


	2. Coffee Date

I spent most of my hour going over the budget for the department. There wasn't a whole lot I could do with the monthly budget I was given. Today's entertainment came out of my own pocket. Who knew clowns were so expensive. Most of the budget went to simple, cheap supplies such as art supplies, small toys, simple books, but these things never lasted long and constantly needed to be replaced.

I took a deep breath and looked around my little office. It was very simple, four gray walls with a desk, a chair, a bookshelf filled binder of budgets, books on mental disabilities and how to do small art projects on a low income, plus the few books I bought that I loaned out for children and patients that I knew would return them. I smiled as I glanced over at the side of the room, that had been plain when I first started a few months ago, that was now filled with artwork from the children over the past few months. Most of these children didn't have much and would give me something they drew or colored in and I treated it like it was gold, hanging it up in my office as a reminder of why I was here.

I signed loudly, wondering for a brief second if this job was even worth faking a recommendation from my mom to only give up a portion of my paycheck to a place that 'cares'. I looked at my wall of artwork once more and saw a small doodle from a little girl, Amanda who had passed away recently, of the two of us and we were smiling. It made me smile, the memory of her happiness.

"Worth it," I said to myself, stretching in my chair before looking at the clock above my head.

5:52

I decided I might as well gather my things and go meet Arthur, who would be here soon. I grabbed my backpack and filled it with paperwork and books, as many as I could put in there. I always took my work home with me, spending a lot of my own time working on trying to find new and interesting things for the children to do.

I headed out the door, making sure to shut off the light and lock the door behind me.

"Hi, Sandy!!"

I jumped a floor in the air and spun around to see Doug, my boss, smiling widely at me. Doug was a man who was in his late 40s, married, hits on everything that moves, and only cared about promotions and making more money. Complete dickhead.

"Hi, Sir. I was just heading out." I said politely as I started to make my way past him to the elevator 30 feet away from us. He chuckled at my formality as usual.

"How many time do I have to tell you, call me Doug. Everyone does." He made himself a door and blocked me from escaping to freedom. "By the way, how is your mother doing?"

I hadn't heard from my mom in months since I wrote myself a recommendation and signed her name to it. Her name was a guarantee to get whatever job I wanted, in the medical field, in this country. Mom was a well-respected doctor and believed I shouldn't rely on her for anything, not even love or a place to call home. Just thinking of her brought back bad memories.

"Fine as always, Sir. Busy with work." I mumbled, trying to push past him again, but was blocked by his body. He wasn't an unattractive man, but I really wasn't into men who have a wife and two kids under the age of 13. He does this weekly, trying to be charming, but it just comes off creepy.

"I was skeptical of hiring someone as young as you, nearly straight of college, but with your mother's recommendation, it was hard to turn you down. Your mother is one of the finest doctors in this whole country, not to mention was always 'giving' to those who got the 'pleasure' of working with her." The comment made me want to gag. Mom had a habit of sleeping with anything with a working penis while I was growing up, so it was no surprise to hear that he slept with her, or wants to sleep with her.

"Yes, she is wonderful, isn't she," I mumbled, trying to evade him once more but this time he grabbed a hold of my arm. I froze, this was the first time he even laid his hand on me before.

"If you ever want a nice office, up with the children you work so closely with, all you have to do is ask and I can give you one...for a favor." He whispered to me and I felt disgust fill my body over this. Like hell I would sleep with him for an office, or anything. I ripped my arm out of his grip and pushed past him as he laughed at me. "Think about it, Sandy."

I made my way to the emergency stairway and decided to run up the floor of stairs to the first floor rather than wait for the elevator and chance that asshole trying something. I hurried up the stairs as I looked down at my watch.

6:01

I'm late.

"Shit," I mumbled as I quickened my pace and got out of the stairwell. I made my way to the lobby and looked around for .... well, I wasn't sure what kind of person I was looking for. I only saw Arthur as a clown an hour ago, who knows what he looks like out of uniform. I wondered to the front desk, looking at every possible man that was standing around, hoping I would know who he'd be at first glance.

"Sandra?" I heard a familiar voice call from behind me. I turned to see a tall, slender man standing there. He was dressed nice, in a dark pair of slacks, several layers of a shirt, a brown sweater, and mustard hoodie. I took in his face, he was smiling. His face was pale, but not as white pale as his make up had been so little time ago, and his eyes were brown that matched his slight long brown hair. He was good looking and this made me nervous.

"Arthur?" I asked, still slightly unsure of the man before me.

"Yes, that's me." He chuckled at me. I blushed, stumbling over what to say next.

"Coffee?" I asked, not sure what to say anymore. He was really attractive and it made me so nervous, I don't date much, never really had.

"Yes. I know this place ... not far from here, ... if you're ready." He asked, seeming and nervous as I was.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Lead the way. I don't know the city that well." I said, moving out of the way so he could lead us out the hospital doors. He smiled and away we went.

~~~~~~~~~

We sat quietly in front of one another in a very busy diner near the hospital. We both didn't seem to know what to say to each other. I guess he didn't date as much as I did either. The waitress brought us both a cup of coffee, him drinking straight while I added a ton of sugar into it. He stared at me as I pour a quarter of the cup full of sugar.

"I ...Ummm....Like my coffee sweet. I have a sweet tooth." I thought I was being funny and opened my mouth and point to one of teeth. "His name is Greg." I smiled and then realized how stupid and crazy I sounded, but Arthur started to laugh and boy it was a laugh. It came out very loud, gathering the attention of people nearby. I jumped a bit, but smiled none the less. "So, I'm not very good at this."

"No, that's ... was very funny," Arthur said, still laughing a bit at me before calming down. He looked genuine about my joke, which was a first from an adult. I joked around with the children a lot, but let's face it. They're children, they laugh at the word pudding. "I like to laugh. I'm gonna be a comedian soon."

"Really? How exciting. Is that why you're a clown, a stepping stone into the path of comedy." I said beaming at him. "I love to joke around and be silly, but I fear I'm only funny to myself."

"Comedy is subjective." He commented and took a sip of his coffee. "I like to make people laugh. My mom always told me to smile and put on a happy face. That's I was put here to cause joy and laugh." He smiled at me, kindly.

"Your mom must be a very lovely woman." My mom was the complete opposite of what his mother must have been. The last time I remember my mom saying anything about how she felt about me was when .... Well, in the brief moment of thought, I don't remember that last time mom said anything nice about or even said something nice to me.

"She is." Arthur still smiled, but it changed in his eyes. His smile was only in his face, not his eyes. They changed when talking about his mother, taking on a darker shade. "Your parents must be proud of you, working in a hospital."

My smile fell from my face. I didn't have a dad. Mom slept around her whole life, she often joked at my dad was 'Jack Daniels' because he was involved that night when I was conceived. "I don't have a dad. Never had. As for my mom..." I trailed off, looking out the window. "I haven't heard from her in months. Not since before I moved here."

"Oh." Was all he said. His smile fell. He must have felt bad about bringing up a bad subject for me. Then all of a sudden, he busted out in uncontrollable laughter. It was worse than a few moments ago, almost painful from how his body jerked and twitched. I cocked my head to the side, watching the man before me. He started shaking his head, "I'M...I'M" He couldn't stop laughing, he held up a finger and reached into his pocket, still laughing and covering his mouth, like he was trying to stop.

He pulled out what looked like a card from his pocket and handed it to me, still trying to control the laughter. I grabbed it carefully from him and read it.

'Forgive my laughter. I have a condition (more on back)' A condition. I turned the card over. 'It's a medical condition causing sudden, frequent, uncontrollable laughter that doesn't match how you feel. It can happen in people with a brain injury or certain neurological conditions. (Kindly Return This Card)'

"Oh, Pseudobulbar?" I asked, watching him get himself under control, which took a minute. When he finally stopped, he looked worn out, physically exhausted from the fit. His breathing was heavy and looked ashamed over the ordeal. I smiled and reached against table to return his card. He took it back, not looking at me anymore and place it back in his pocket. "It's a disorder that causes people to suddenly start laughing or crying at points of great stress, discomfort or just because. It's not very common in younger people, mostly people with MS, Parkinson's or Alzheimer."

He looked up at me with shock, that I even heard of the disorder because. "W-what?"

"Yeah, I sometimes sit with a woman who has Alzheimer's who cries every few minutes." I took a sip of coffee before continuing. "She a very sweet woman, tries not to let it get her down, when she's having a lucid moment. I remember one time she-"

"And you're okay with this?!" He asked, eyes still wide from the shock of me not reacting to his disorder. "You're acting like this off-putting."

"It's not," I said, looking into his eyes. He looked even more panicky than a few minutes ago. "It's a disorder, you can't help it. It made me a jump a bit before you told me, but if it's something you can't control, why should I be upset."

He stared at me in disbelief, not believing what I was telling him. "You can't be real." He whispered loud enough to hear. "I've made you up."

I smiled and called out to the waitress, who was passing by. "Sorry to bother you but, can I have two pieces of that apple pie behind the counter I spotted when I got here." I turned my attention back to Arthur, still wide eyed. "Greg's hungry."

"Sure thing Sweetie." the waitress smiled at her and turned to Arthur, "I'll have that right up for you two."

"Thank you Ma'am." I said as she walked away. "Now I must be real if someone else is able to see me." I reached out for him, grabbing one of his hands out of his lap, causing him to jump a bit of contact. "And you can feel me, right?"

"You're perfect." He whispered, gathering himself as he settled into my touch as I rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand. Glady, the woman who I know has this disorder, would be convinced I wasn't real at times, so I would hold onto her and reassure her I was real, some days it worked better than others. "And y-you're really want t-to be here ... with me?"

"If I didn't, it would have turned you down very awkwardly back at the hospital." I smiled at him. "Seeing you interact with those kids, you looked like you were enjoying yourself from all the other people I've gotten to entertain them. They smiled and laughed harder than I've seen many of them do in a long time. So I figure, you couldn't be that bad of a guy."

Arthur just sat there, in a dreamlike state until the waitress brought our pies. "You two enjoy." This snapped Arthur out of his daydream and the smiled up at the waitress, believing in her ability to see me. I let go of Arthur and took a big bite out of my nice warm slice of apple pie. He smiled and started to eat his pie as well continued our date, once the little hick-up was out of the way.


	3. Under The Same Roof

"I never did ask." Arthur said as we walked side by side on the way to my apartment. He was a real gentleman and offered to walk me home since it was getting late, it was already dark and Gotham wasn't the safest place on the planet. "What is you're job at the hospital if you're the one who hired me."

"Oh." I never did tell him. "I'm the event coordinate slash activities director slash company." Giving my job more credit than I actually do. "I'm the one who makes sure the kids are entertained and have activities to do during their stay. I also work on all the charity events the hospital does throughout the year. And to top if all off, I sit and socialize with the kids and some of the patients that either have no one or are upset. I've been told I'm very good at it."

"I will agree, you are very good company." He chuckled as he pulled out a cigarette from his hoodie pockets. "Do you mind?" He said before he lit one up.

"Not at all." I said. He lit one up and breathed in the smoke and exhaled the smoke. It was interesting watching someone else smoke for once, I never looked in the mirror when I did it on occasion and I felt embarrassed staring at a random stranger. The nicotine in the cigarette must have calmed him down a bit, his shoulders slumped a bit and his face was more relaxed than a few seconds ago. "I sometimes smoke, when I'm feeling bad."

He handed one from his pack for me to take, but I shook my head. "I'm feeling pretty good right now, but thanks." He shrugged and placed the pack back in his pocket. We walked and made small talk as well slowly made our way to the apartment building where I've been for the past few months. I enjoyed the small talk as we came up to the block were I reside, it had been the most fun I've had since I got my job at the hospital.

"You live around here?" Arthur said, taking a good look at where we were going. Trash from the strike had started to show as it was piling up down the street I lived on.

"Yep. It in the brown building, just beyond this long flight of stairs coming up." I pointed to a very, very, Very long stair leading up to the street I'd been calling home. This caused Arthur to laugh, and cry out 'you got to be kidding.' "Hey, it's not much but it's a roof and four walls."

"No, no. This is where I live." He laughed as we started up that stairs.

"I've never seen you before." I said, confused on how I could have missed someone like Arthur living in the same building as me.

"I must be only neighbor you haven't introduced yourself to?" He tensed, making a good point. I don't know any of my neighbors, I'm not the type to go around and knock and make friends. I like being alone...with my work.

"Good point. I never bothered to see who I live around. Not good at this whole 'getting to know' people thing."

"Really, you seem to do well with the children at your job."

"They pay me, which forces me to be social. On my own, I rather not."

"But you accepted a date with me?" He asked while he stopped on the stairs as I continued on, chuckling to myself.

"Must be something special about you Arthur." Called back to him as I was nearing the top, looking over my shoulder at him. His smile widened as he leap up the stairs after me, tossing his cigarette out. We walked up to the building and into the front lobby, heading straight for the mail box.

I opened my mail box, to find nothing as I side watched Arthur open a mailbox as well. I almost breathed a sign of relief. Not that I didn't believe him, but what were the odds of us living under the same roof. I looked at the box and saw the name 'P. Fleck' on the box. I must have had a look on my face, but Arthur quickly offered an answer for that.

"I live with my mom. I take care of her."

"Oh. That's nice." I said, smiling at Arthur. "You're a good son. Most people wouldn't give the time of day to their mom who could take care of themselves."

He smiled and said nothing, as we made our way to the elevator. I pushed the 5th floor while he push the 7th. We waited in silence as the rusted out elevator slowly made it's way to the 5th floor. "I guess this is my stop." I said as I slowly got off the elevator. "I had a nice time Arthur. It was nice talking to someone who isn't interested in how many colors of crayons I have to offer."

"It was nice talking too. By the way, how many color do you offer?" He joked, grinning with proud as I laughed out loud and snorted a bit.

"You'll have to find out another time." I snickered as the door began to close. I turned away, but heard the doors open up again, with Arthur stopping them from closing.

"DINNER?" He shouted at me with a pained look on his face, trying to control his laugh. "Tomorrow?" He asked a bit more gently than the first word.

I smiled and how hard he was trying, when he didn't need to. I guess he just couldn't help it. "OK. I'll be home by 5:30, how does 6 sound?"

"Perfect." He grinned as he let the doors finally close.

I smiled to myself as I made my way to my apartment door. Apt 5H. Home sweet home.

I opened my door and was greeted with ... nothing. I literally had nothing. My apartment was simple and bare. A small kitchen off to the side, a living room with a small bedroom and even smaller bathroom. I had no pictures of any kind to put on the walls, so they all stayed empty. It wasn't for the fact that it came with a fridge and stove, I wouldn't have a place to put and cook food. The one thing I bought for this kitchen, other than food, was a coffee maker than I could not live without. I had very little groceries stored in here, a half eaten loaf of bread and some peanut butter and strawberry jelly in the fridge, with a jar of mayo that I used with the few cans of tuna in my pantry above the sink.

My living room didn't have much either. A desk in the corner, with a chair that I got on sale by chance. Off in another corner of the room was a box suitcase record player, with a few records next to it. I liked to listen to music, like Eltan John, Elvis, Bing Crosby, and other artists. I had books, countless books all over the room. From medical books, to children's books, a few romantic books, educational mostly. I just had huge piles about the room, giving it a more lived in feel but still just felt empty.

I walked into the bedroom, where there was a mattress on the floor, with a lamp and alarm clock next to it, also on the floor. My closet was a nice size, but I only had a half dozen long sleeved work shirts and different colors, several pairs of black pants to match. The only thing I didn't own that wasn't work related was an old green t-shirt, a pair of jeans, light blue soft comfy long sleeve pajamas with matching pants.

I got undressed and went to my plain bathroom to shower, brush my teeth and wash my face, then changing into my favorite pajamas. I walked around my place, looking over the thing I have built my life with in these past few months, but grabbing the pack of cigarettes out of the drawer in my kitchen. I sat down on the floor, next to the record player and put on some Frank Santana, while opening the window, listening to the city below as I light one of my cigarettes, inhaling it slowly.

I usually spent my night occupying myself figuring out crafts, stories, other work related stuff to keep myself busy. But spending time outside of work with someone else had me thinking.

For the first time, in a long time, I felt lonely.


	4. Dark Humor

I sat in my office, with my head in my hands, trying to stop the tears. Glady, one of my favorite patients, passed away a few hours ago, while we talked. She was crying one second, then her head just fell forward and she was gone. Nothing the doctors or nursing staff could do to bring her back. She was a sweet woman, when she was lucid. She told me about her kids, grand kids, her husband and events of her past and she was such a good friend and the fact that she was gone....

My heart couldn't take it.

The one thing they tell you when you first start in the medical field is to never get attached. It is unprofessional, always keep them at an arms length, they are here for treatment and while showing kindness in important, not to be too friendly. Most of the nurses told me this, because it comes with the job, but I was rethinking it was because of how much it hurts when they finally are at peace.

It hurt so much.

I didn't bother to check the time, or gather my endless amount of books as I walked out of the hospital at the end of the work day. I stopped by a mini mart that sold cigarettes and by the time I made it back to my apartment, half the pack had gone up in smoke. I got onto the elevator and pushed the 5th button as i slowly tried to numb myself to the pain of this loss. I've never truly lost anyone before, and while I did lose a few of the children over since starting, I really never sat and heard their whole life story, mainly because they were young and haven't seen much of the world.

The Elevator came to my floor and the door slowly opened to reveal Arthur, who looked like he was about to get on the elevator. He was shocked to see me standing there, but his eyes turned to concern when he noticed the tears coming down my face.

"Sandra, where have you been? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?" He quickly said, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the elevator, checking over my body to see if I was hurt. I quickly looked down at my watch to find that it said 6:23. I was too tore up about something that would not change and forgot about my dinner date with Arthur.

"I'm sorry Arthur. I had a rough day at work and lost track of time." I said, feeling bad for nearly missing our date. He must have been waiting out here for me to show up.

"It's fine. So long as you're okay." He said, but his eyes said that he was hurt that I forgot and I don't blame him.

"Why don't you come in, while I get dress and we'll go out to dinner." I offered him, which seemed to put the smile back on his face that I was still willing to go out with him. I walked over to my door and was about to open it, when I stopped and turned to him. "Just so you know, it's a little .... bare in here. I don't really have people over to see how awful it looks."

I opened my door to reveal my bare apartment and I felt a bit ashamed of how little I actually had. Arthur came in and the smile that had been on his face fell, taking in how very ... abandoned looking in my apartment really was.

"Make yourself at home. I'll be right out." Quickly rushed into my bedroom and shut the door even quicker, causing it the slam shut. Had I just not wrapped myself in self pity, Arthur would be in my place staring at literally nothing. Not wanting him to get bored awhile I changed, I stripped and redressed in the quickest time known to man, almost taking myself out while putting on my pants.

I opened my door to find Arthur, leaning over my desk, looking at the book I recently had open on how to make paper swans in all sizes. He chuckled as bit at it, before turning to see me in my jeans and t-shirt.

"I'm sorry, I don't have anything nicer to put on for our date." I said shyly, and Arthur walked over to me. "Sorry I don't have any place for you to sit either. Maybe I'll go out a buy a couch tomorrow, that way the next time-"

"You already want me over again?" he asked, smirking as I realized that's what I said without even thinking about it. I probably look desperate if I expect him over again.

"I mean, if you wanted to come over again." He smirked and I motioned for us to lead, but he had other ideas and he came up to me and stared down into my soul through his eyes.

"I'd love to come over again." He whispered and I'd be lying if my heart didn't leap in joy. "Come on, I'm sure Greg is hungry."I couldn't stop the snort that came out of my mouth as we left for dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur and I were laughing and having a nice time while eating a couple of chicken sandwiches at the same diner we had been at the day before. It was starting to become my favorite place in the city. I was having such a good time and nearly forgot about-

"Why were you crying in the elevator?" Arthur suddenly asked, after being together for a long period of time. The good mood that recently came back to me vanished in an instant. Arthur didn't mean anything by the harmless question, but it still filled me with sorrow of the loss in my life.

"Oh. I forgot about that." I tried to smile, but Arthur could see that it was forced, so I stopped. "The patient I came to know and adore, she died today." I looked down, trying not to cry. "Right in front of me. She was crying, upset about being at a hospital for 'no reason', then the next minute her head fell and she .... died."

Arthur stared at me as I left this all out of my chest. "She has the same condition you do, well ... she did. Anyways, she was a nice woman when she was lucid and she talked and talked about her life and over the few months, I came to see how wonderful a life she has lead and how could she end up the way she was. Due to the Alzheimer's, she lived out the rest of her life scared and confused and rolling from one emotion to another and the fact at she just ... right in front of me." I looked down and let the tears fall down my face. "I've never seen a dead body before."

Arthur looked nervous, probably because I was crying. He pulled out a notebook from his jacket and began to look through the pages before finally stopping on one. "What's red and bad for your teeth?" He asked me, but I was confused on what he was asking me that for. "A brick!" He smiled so proudly at his joke, looking so confident that it was a good one, I couldn't help but let out a laugh at how dark it was. He flipped through it some more before starting another one. "I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box."

I actually laughed hard at that one. It was funny because you made you think for a second and i just couldn't stop myself. I guess this was Arthur's way of trying to cheer me up and it worked a bit. I forgot about the pain I felt about Glady and focus in on Arthur and he told me joke after joke, each one darker than the last.

"I got one, I got one." I told Arthur as he started to laugh at his own jokes as well. "The doctor said to his patient'I have good and bad news,' 'Give me the good news first,' the patient said. 'Your test results are back,' the doctor said, 'and you have only two days to live.' 'That's the good news?' the patient exclaimed. 'What's the bad news?' 'I've been trying to reach you for two days.'"

His caused Arthur to laugh so hard, people around start to stare/glare at us, making me feel a little embarrassed, but fuck it. I was having a good time with Arthur.

"That's so funny!" He laughed, trying to pull himself together.

"You can use it in your stand up act... for a price."

"And what would that be?" He asked, wiping a tear for his eye he laughed so hard.

"Dinner. My place. Tomorrow night."

He smirked and leaned closer to me. "Sounds like a deal."


	5. Sounds Like A Date

It was a good thing I had the day off, because inviting Arthur over for dinner was a huge mistake. I had nothing here. Having the day off gave me a chance to go buy somethings before he came over. I went out shopping early, looking around Gotham for the cheapest table, set of chairs, couch, coffee table, food to make a spaghetti and meatball dinner for the two of us. I almost got a television set, but I didn't think I could justify that kind of purchase. I was never home and when I was, I was working on budgets and plans and would never watch it. A waste of money just to gather dust in the corner. 

Among all of purchases, I invested in a new light blue button up shirt, navy blue cardigan, and black skirt so that I had something nice to wear , but was also work appropriate. It was a good thing I had the whole day, once I got most of it home, I had to run back out for stuff I didn't notice I didn't have. Like plates, more coffee cups, actual cups and more than one set of silverware. 

The more I spent made me really realize how even less I had been living with these past few months. All the money I made went to bills, activities at the hospital and a small saving account at Gotham bank, which was now a lot less. 

I felt better once the furniture store delivered the couch for me, not about complaining about how much of a bitch it was to get it in here. I moved all of my books and neatly set them in the empty corner of the room, which were a lot more than I realized when spread across the endless amount of floor. I also got on my hands and knees and scrubbed my living room floor, the kitchen cabinets and the bathroom. I then had to make one last trip out, after coming to my misfortune that I didn't own a pot to boil noodles in or sheet pan to bake the meatballs.

The whole day, I never checked the time. Just keep going and going. And rushing back on my way back from picking up the, hopefully, last of my shopping, I found Arthur, checking on his mail. I panicked, not wanting him to see I didn't own a fucking pot, and hid the bag behind my back as he turned around to find me just standing there, in the lobby, staring at him like he was the one weirdly staring at me. I wish I wasn't so awkward.

"Hi Arthur!" I said, a bit over cheerful before toning it down a bit. "Getting home from work?"

"No." He said, clearly not expecting me to be just standing there. I smiled, making my way over to the elevator with Arthur sulking behind me. Giving me a kind smile, Arthur said, "I was coming back from an appointment."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. We stood there as the elevator made the slow, eternal incline up the shaft to my floor.

"Is that a pot?" Arthur asked, leaning back with a grin, seeing the clear bag containing a pot, backing sheet ... and wooden spoon.

"Oh, yeah." bring the bag out from behind my back. "I needed a new one, I ...ummmm... Burnt a hole in the old one." The lie came out and I had no clue if it sounded worse than just saying I just didn't have one. "Because it was so old and well used. I cook a lot." Now it was just coming out and I couldn't stop.

Arthur chuckled and nodded, accepting my lame excuse for the pot, as the doors opened. "Ok, I'll be over once I check on mom and make her something to eat."

"Sounds like a date." I said absentmindedly as I walked out the metal box, only to realize my words as the door shutting a taken back Arthur inside. "Or not! I doesn't have to be ... a .... date." My words trailed and the elevator closing, going up to Arthur's floor. I sulked back to my apartment, unsure of how Arthur felt about this dinner and what this really was. 

I immediately filled the new pot with water as soon as I shut the door behind me, and placed it on the the stove to boil. I stood there, my head began to wonder why I was putting so much into a simple dinner with a friend. 

Maybe having someone over made me start thinking about how little I had. Maybe I wanted to impress Arthur for some reason. I had friends, but once I got my place here in Gotham, I hadn't heard from them since. It was nice to have someone to talk to but at the same time, it made it clear I haven't being living since I got here. I didn't have enough have plates and I've been here for 5 months.

I wasn't sure how long I had been staring at the now boiling pot of water when I heard a knock at my door. I snapped out of my daydream and rushed to door. I took a breath before I opened the door, revealing Arthur, smiling brightly.

"Hello, Arthur."He was dressed in a nice red suit vest with matching pants and white shirt, his hair was combed and brushed out of his face. I couldn't stop myself from smiling at him as he stood there, waiting for my invitation to come in. I dramatically raised my arm and moved back into the entery way. "Welcome to my newly furnished home."

He put on a bigger smile as he came in and 'oh'ed and 'aww'ed at my dramatic juster, playing along with me. "I love what you've done to the place. Is that a new pot?" He joked, pointing to the now over-boiling pot of water.

"Shit!" I spun around, rushing over to the pot, turning off the burner and tried to pull it off the burner, only to burn my finger tips. I let out a yip, as I tried to wave the sting from my hand. Arthur jumped in, panicking and moving me away from the pot, grabbing my hand and pulling me over the sink, putting my hand under the ice cold water, telling me it was going to be okay. We stayed like that for a minute, before he pulled my hand out, to see if I got burnt to badly.

He breathed a sigh of relief and he showed me my hand. "See. No damage done." He smiled, like he had cured me of the burn. I smiled, having yet pulled my hand away from him.

"I can't even boil water." I said, giggling as I looked at the simmered down water pot. "I mostly just eat a sandwich when I'm hungry." I looked Arthur in the eyes, who looked at me with a confused look as to what made me want to try cooking at all. "I wanted to do something special but..." I pointed to the pot, "Ya."

He chuckled at me, before letting go of my hand. He turned away, putting the boiler back on, grabbing the package of spaghetti I had on the counter near us, tossing it into the pot. 

I took this as a sign as he was taking over the cooking and grabbed the plate from the cabinet I deemed as their new home, along with the silverware. I walked out and placed them on the table as Arthur opened a jar of sauce I laid out. 

"I see you got a new couch." Arthur called out from the kitchen, coming around the corner smiling at me. "It's looks nice."

"Oh, this old thing." I joked, walking over and sitting on the coffee table. "It's the coffee table. It's new, giving the rest of the room a new sense of decor."

He continued to smile and made his way back to the kitchen, checking on the food. I went over to the record player and grabbed the first album on top of the small pile. Elton John, his album Yellow Brick Road, one of my favorite. I put the record on, put the dial on the song, 'Candle in the Wind', as it softly filled the room with a comforting tune.

I heard Arthur in the other room, opening the cabinet over the music that find the room. "Sandra, do you have a strainer?"

I hit myself in the head, laughing to myself. "A strainer." I forgot about draining the noodles once they were done. I don't have one. "I don't have one Arthur. I didn't know I needed one." I started laughing a little hard to myself as I went to help him."Man, cooking is hard. You need a lot to make a simple meal. This is why I don't cook."

Arthur worked without it, draining the water into the sink, then adding the sauce, stirring the mixture together. He kept stirring as he moved past me, out to the living room and putting the spaghetti on the plates for us, before taking the empty pot back to the kitchen and into the sink. He came out with two cups of coffee in his hands he must have made while in there, handing me one while we took our seats.

"How was work today?" Arthur said as he dug into his spaghetti, groaning as he took the first bite. "So good. You have to give me the recipe." He joked, giving me a grin.

I couldn't stop myself from giggling. "I don't have work today. I spent most my day trying to find furniture in my price range and food I thought I could cook to impress a new friend I've made." I took a bite of my food and groaned as well. It was so good, better than anything I've had in awhile. 

Arthur stopped eating, "You bought furniture for me?"

I stopped eating, blushing at how that statement sounded. "Well, not just for you per-say." Trying to cover up that he was the fact I did buy a lot of these things today. "Since you came into my apartment yesterday, I realized that I didn't have anything for when company would come over and needed it anyways. I've been here 5 months and I didn't have a couch, that's weird."

He smiled sadly, staring at me while I ate. "I don't think it's weird. If anything, I'm happy, flattered even." I couldn't stop the smile from forming from my face.

It was so simple. It was just the two of us, dressed in our best clothes, with plain spaghetti and coffee, in a dim lighting that came from the lamp I had moved over from the desk earlier. It was simple, but it was one of the most beautiful nights I ever remember having.


	6. Party Or Bust

I couldn't stop smiling as I walked into work. Last night was wonderful. I couldn't remember that last time I had a wonderful evening with someone else. Arthur was nice and polite, funny too. We spent sometime going over some of his jokes, going over the best and worst of them. We danced a bit to some of my records, smiling and enjoying each others company. Just us.

I stopped on the 3rd floor, where the children's ward was, to check on them before heading to my office. Talking to all of them, that were awake, nothing had change other than the need for more crayons. 

When I finally reached my office, I found Doug waiting impatiently outside of my door. "Sandy! Where have you been? You're shift started 20 minutes ago!" He yelled at me, standing over me, as if he could cause some fear in me. 

My smile fell as I stared at the man. "I was up with the children, seeing to their needs before coming to my office. I do this every morning."

He looked taken back, but in a blink recovered, getting mad at my response. "You are to report to your office first, I've been waiting here for 20 minutes and I should not have had to wait."

I signed and walked past him, unlocking my door and flicking on the light. "You could have left a note." I put my backpack behind the desk as he let himself in, looking at the wall of pictures I had up.

"This was of the utmost importance." He said before clearing his throat. "The hospital is throwing a banquet in honor of the Wayne's donating some money to us. I need you to coordinate the event. There will be over 200 people for this and it needs to be of the highest priority."

I grabbed an unused notepad off of my desk and he told me more information. I nodded as he ranted about this event, as if he had some kind of taste for the fine things in life. When he finished, I looked over what all he had said. 

"How much money do I have to work with?" I asked, hoping it would be a decent amount of money to do all he 'envisioned'.

"Whatever you have left over in the activities account for the month."

My jaw dropped and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. "But.... Sir.... It's the beginning of the month, I haven't gotten any of the supplies for the kids or patients, and even then, our budget isn't enough for the request you made for this 'event'. My budget it a little over 500 a month and the venue you want is well over a thousand, not to mention, the price of food, music, decorations. Sir, you got to be kidding me."

Doug looked at me, stepping closer and this time, I was intimidated over my state of shock. "Well, there is no other money anywhere in this hospital's resources to cater to your department that should have more than enough to pull this off. The party will be this Friday, so make it happen." He turned, walking out of my office, before looking back over his shoulder to me, frozen in my spot. "And if you are unable to do this, I will find someone else who can. Elaine's daughter or not." And with that, he slammed my door shut.

So much for my good mood. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I spent the rest of my day, head hung low over my desk trying to figure out the budget. There was no possible way I could do anything he wanted with the budget I had. I managed to get the venue with a extreme discount as I dropped a few name of important people who were going to attend and promised to give them publicity of their venue in our hospital and during a speech for the night. 

I also got a catering company to cater the event for the low low price of being our only catering company for every event for the next two years, paying a higher price for future events with them. Finding a band was the easiest part, I managed to talk a local television show orchestra into doing the event as a tax right off. Don Ellis and his Jazz Orchestra. One final detail was I was going to ask the children to write thank you notes to the Wayne family, thanking them for the donation. I felt bad using them like this, but it will pull at the heart strings and when asked about the cheapness of this event, I could tell them it was so that more money could go to them ... even if I was pretty sure it wouldn't.

I went over the list, some of the most important people in Gotham were invited and several high paying doctors were on the bill as well. Including my mom. Against my better judgement, I keep her on the list, knowing she'd never show up. She never shown up to anything I ever invited her to before in her life, why start now. 

I was glad to get to see the children this morning, because by the time I checked my clock again, it was already after 4 o'clock. I needed to go and find some cheap, but nice looking card stock and envelopes, and decided to do them by hand tonight and send them out first thing in the morning, using stamps I got from hitting up billing office and every secretary on my way out the door. 

I stopped at several places before I finally found enough of the cheapest piece of paper I could find in the city, along with envelopes, and a fancy pen for me to write all of the invitations ... all 200 of them. I bought an extra 50 for when I made a mistake. 

As I sat everything down on my desk and started to put on a pot of coffee, I got a knock on my door. It was Arthur. I knew this before I even opened the door. No one else would be visiting me, no one else cared.

I opened my door, giving Arthur a sad smile as he stood there, one arm leaning against my door frame, trying to look 'cool'. "Hello, Arthur."

"How's it going Sandra?" He said, giving me a grin. Something was off about him. He was acting different, from this poser to the look on his face. Something was ... off.

"It's going fine, a ton of work I have to do, but what else is new. How was your day?"

"Do you need help?" He jumped back, offering to help before he even knew what I had to do. I smiled genuinely at the offer.

"I have to write out invitations for this party my hospital is having at the end of the week."

He frowned at this, his posture change back to the Arthur I knew. He wasn't as straight and his body twitched in his knees and elbows. He was uncomfortable. "I got shit handwriting."

"That's ok, Arthur." I said softly, still smiling at him. "I'll be up all night anyways. They all need done and shipped out by tomorrow morning."

This brought a smile back onto his face. "Why don't you come up to my place. I don't sleep much, so I can keep you company., and a TV for background noise and if that isn't enough." He leaned in closer, as if he was whispering so no one else would hear. "I got coffee."

I couldn't help but laugh at how sweet his offer was and it bet sitting here all night by myself. "I don't want to keep you up all night."

"I'd be up anyways, whether you're there or not." He offered, completly committed to this idea.

"And you're mom?"

"Already asleep."

"Hmmm...." I pretended to think about it before agreeing. "Ok. Sounds better than being by myself." I left Arthur at the door and I turned off the coffee pot and went to grab the bags of supplies, to which Arthur took from my hand, carrying them all for me.

"Let's go." He smiled and I shut the door behind me.


	7. Up All Night

Arthur unlocked the apartment door and I stood there, a bit nervous. I'd never been in his apartment before and he's seen the way I lived. As I took a step inside, I really saw a sight. It looked lived in, which wasn't a bad thing. There was so much stuff everywhere, but not in a hoarding way. Pictures on the wall, small tables, accessories that normal people had in their homes, like a bowl of food just ... sitting there. It looked cozy.

I thought back to when I lived with my mom, her house was never like this. We lived in the a very big house, bigger than the two of us needed, that was always clean ... because she was never home enough to get anything dirty. A housekeeper would come in and clean everyday, but was just collecting a paycheck for doing nothing. It was always the most up-to-date house, with the latest technology we never used, and rarely saw more people other than me, her and her man of the evening. It never felt like a place where anyone lived, but Arthur's place felt warm to me.

"Excuse the mess." He said and put the bag down near the table off to one side of the room. He quickly cleaned the table off of whatever they had on it, making room for my bags. I took this time to get a better look of the place. I noticed on the couch there was a pillow and blanket, a few clothes of his off in the corner, a TV with a VHS player and a collection of VHS off to the side of it. Random objects about the place; mail, pens and pencils, figurines of cats, children and several ash trays filled with the ends of cigarettes. Everything looked out of place, but in a place all at the same time. "There." Arthur said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Now to put on that coffee I promised."

"Thank you Arthur." I said starting on getting out my list of attendees, and grabbing the first stack of envelopes, starting by writing out the addresses on them. I was a fourth of the way into them before a cup of coffee was placed beside me, causing me to jump. I looked up at Arthur, who awkwardly smiled. "Thanks." I smiled at him, taking a sip of the sweet brown liquid, that he sweetened perfectly to my taste. "It's perfect. Just what I needed."

"I'll be over ... watching the TV." He said pointing to the couch. "If you need anything." I watched as he took a seat, lighting up a smoke as he turned the television on, keeping the volume low. I forced myself back into my work, writing out more addresses until I made out the very last one. Arthur, being sweet as he was, refilled my cup twice as I drank and carefully made out each one. 

As the last one was addressed, I slammed the pen on the table and stood up, stretching out my poor muscles from being hunched over the table for so long. I looked over at Arthur, who face snapped back to the TV, as if I hadn't caught him watching me stretch a few seconds ago. I made my way over to the couch and sat down next to him. He kept his face straight ahead, and I tried to relax for a few moments before heading back to my work. 

Arthur reached for another cigarette and lit it, blowing the smoke into the air in front of me. Before I could stop myself, I took a deep breath of the secondhand smoke. He watched me as I did this, before reaching out, grabbing another cigarette off of the coffee table and held it out to me. I hesitantly took it, never having smoked in front of someone before. It was almost like a secret, I would smoke alone in my room growing up, or in the back of buildings when I was in college, or alone in my apartment because there was just no one around to watch me then.

He gave me the lighter and I lit it up, taking a deep breath of the toxic smoke into my lungs, holding it there and letting it out slowly. I was so stressed out and I felt my body instantly relax into the couch, which caused Arthur to giggle. I smiled at him, taking another drag of my cigarette. I heard a jingle come on, and Arthur attention turned back to the TV. "This is my favorite show. Have you seen it?"

"No, what is it?" 

"The Murray Franklin Show. He's so funny." He said, in a dreamlike state as he seemed to lose himself in the show. 

"And now, without any further ado-- Murray Franklin!" The announcer said and a older gentleman came out from behind a curtain, onto the stage floor. The crowd cheered for him and he did some funny bit with the band. "Tonight we have a real treat for you all to enjoy. So today, my wife comes up to me..." He went into a monologue about the funny bit in his life, Arthur forcefully laughed at every joke he told throughout the whole show. I didn't think it was too funny, but Arthur was enjoying it and that's all the mattered. 

I took a break, watching the whole show with him, getting in another cigarette before it ended with the song 'That's life'. I checked my watch to see it was just after a eleven at night. I wasted an hour just watching some man do shtick for an hour. 

"Wasn't that great?! He's so funny." Arthur asked, turning his face back to me after being completely focused on that show the whole hour. 

I gave him a warm smile. "It was okay. I think your way funnier." I got up, and stretched before turning my attention to the task at hand. 

"But he's way funnier than I am." He whispered, still sitting on the couch, watching me walk away. 

"Just because others find him funny, doesn't mean I did. Beside, weren't you the one who told me." I turning back to him with a grin. "Comedy is subjective."

He looked shocked I remembered something he said when we first meet a few days ago. "You remembered something I said ... You listened."

"Of course I listened Arthur. What are friends for." I said taking seat and started working on the invitations. I didn't turn back to Arthur for awhile after that, but I felt his eyes on me for what was seemed like forever. 

The hours passed as I worked hard on these stupid invitations. I messed up every once in a while, crumbling it up and throwing it across the table. I heard Arthur chuckle at my childlike behavior over the mistakes. He always keep my coffee filled, warmed and sweeten just right.

By the time I had completely finished writing them out, it was 4 am. I was shocked to see Arthur still awake with me, smoking and drinking a cup of coffee on the couch. I got up, too tired to stretch and made my way over to Arthur, who held out another cigarette for me. I was almost too tired to light the thing and took a half-hearted drag, relaxing into the couch, that felt way more comfier than the wooden chair I had been in.

"Why are you doing this?" He finally asked me, after watching me do this for hours on end. "You're killing yourself for a company that couldn't care less about you. Why put yourself through it." 

I took a long drag of my cigarette before deciding to answer him with honesty. "As far as I could remember, I wanted to care for others. I've spent my whole life wanting to make sure others are happy, too feel as if someone gave a shit if they ate that day, went outside, hell even just something as simple as getting out of bed." I took another drag of my cigarette, letting out the smoke as I continued. "I know what it's like for someone not to give a shit if you lived or died, and if I have the power to help it, I never want the people I come in contact with to ever feel like they weren't important."

"And how does someone like you know what it's like to feel like this?" He asked, like he was teasing me on something I knew nothing about. I looked at him before finishing the cigarette in my hand, smashing the end in the ashtray.

"I was a drunken late night mistake, Arthur, and she never let me forget it." I answered before leaning back onto the couch. "She never wanted children and it was too risky to her reputation to just give me up, so she just pretended I wasn't there. She never took the time of day to be in my life, other than when it came time to drag me to parties and her 'pride and joy'. 'The perfect life', no kid was 'ever happier' than I was. She never supported me or gave two shits about me." I closed my eyes, leaning farther into the couch. "She couldn't even bother writing a recommendation to help me get into college. 'You're not riding my coat tails to the top.' she told me. 'I worked hard to get where I am and I'm not putting myself out there when you fail.'" I felt a tear fall from me eyes, as darkness soft enclosed me in it's warm abyss.


	8. Scrambled Eggs With A Side Of Rejection

I woke up with a jolt, the light from the window blinding me as I rolled away from it. It took more than a few second to realize I was laying on Arthur's couch. There was a pillow under my head and a blanket draped over me. I heard whistling from the kitchen, which had a big opening, so I could Arthur there, cooking over a stove. I groaned, rubbing my eyes and sitting up, swinging my legs out and touched the floor with my bare feet. I remember having shoes on last night.

"Morning." Arthur called out to me, a proud smile beaming from him, as he held up a frying pan with eggs in it. "Breakfast is almost ready." He looked refreshed in a new set of pajamas and his wet hair slicked back, as if he just got out of the shower. I continued to rub the sleep from my eyes, checking my watch to find it was 7:32. I was due to work at 9, that's when it hit me. 

"The Invites!" I shouted, jumping to my feet to sprung over to the table, the froze to find them completed, and in a nice neat pile just waiting for me. I never finished stuffing, sealing and stamping them last night.

"You passed out last night." Arthur said, as he scrapped the eggs onto three plates. "You looked so worse for wear, so I let you sleep as I put them all together. You did most of the work, the rest was quite easy."

I blinked, unsure of how to take in this information. Arthur did this, just because I was tired? Just as much as I tired to help everyone out who crossed my path, no one had ever helped me along the way without expecting anything in return. I just stood there, as Arthur put one of the plates in my hands.

"Go on and eat up, I'm sure you're hungry." He said and gestured me to sit on the couch, grabbing a small lap table, with eggs and toast on it before heading into what I suspect was his mother's room. I sat down on the couch and took a look at the plate in my hands. It was scrambled eggs and a piece of butter toast. It was so simple, but it tasted amazing. It was more effort than I've put into any of my breakfasts for myself than I remember doing in a long time. 

After a bit, Arthur came back and grabbed his plate and sat it on the coffee table, having a smoke before eating. 

"Thank you Arthur." I said to him, in between bites of toast. "You stayed up with me all night, finished my work and made me breakfast when you didn't have to." I took the last bite of my food before finishing what I was saying to him. "I can't express how lucky I am to know someone as caring as you."

"Anything for you, Sandra." He smiled at me, as smoke surrounded the two of us. I got up, gave him a big smile before starting to gathering my stuff, putting it all in the bags to take to the post office before I headed in.

"I have to attend this thing, I mean the event I'm planning." I said, not able to face Arthur, trying to find the right words to say. "You helped me so much, it's only right that you be my plus one. What do you say?"

I turned to see his jaw physically drop. "Like...A date?" He asked, unsure if he heard what I was trying to imply.

"Yes. Be my date." Standing in his living room, he looked nervous again. All of the confidence he had since I wok up was all gone and he's body jerked as he was suddenly thrown into a laughing fit, his hand went up to his throat and mouth, trying to stop it. My smile fell, I dropped my bags and rushed over to the couch to comfort him, rubbing his back as his arm held tightly on the front of him, as if he was trying to stop himself for breathing at all.

Finally, after a few minutes, it subsided and Arthur looked worn out, reaching out to git a cigarette off of the coffee table. He shook as he put it between his lips, and I quickly grabbed the lighter, flick the Bic and held it out for him to light it on. He took a few puffs before his body relaxed once more, shoulder dropped as he finally calmed down from the ordeal.

"If you don't want to go, you don't have it." I whispered to him, not wanting him to get uncomfortable again because of me. I got up from the couch, when Arthur reached out and grabbed my wrist, stopping me from moving any farther away. We stayed like this for what seemed like forever, waiting for Arthur to say something. 

"Happy. I need you." I heard a voice call out in the small apartment, snapping us out of our twilight state. I quickly got the feeling I have overstayed my welcome, pulling from Arthur as if he had burnt me. 

"I'm sorry, I never should have asked." I said, quickly gathering my bags off of the floor, rushing to the door, unlocking it. "It was stupid of me to ask something like that. Thank you for last night." I didn't turn around, starting to feel the pressure on my chest as rejection formed a small lamp in my chest that quickly grew. As I shut the door behind me, a hand grabbed the door frame and door, ripping the knob from my hand.

Arthur was standing there, breathless from the quick movement he must have had to stop me from closing it. "I'd love to!" He shouted, before coughing and clearing his throat. "If the offer is still there."

The lump in my chest was replace quickly with butterflies as rejection left was filled with acceptance. I smiled widely. "Of course it is." Checking my watch again. 8:07. No time to go home and change, I need to head straight out for work. "Shit, I'm late." I rushed to the elevator, pushing the button a hundred time. I turned back to see Arthur watching me with an amused face. "It's Friday, at 6 pm. Gotham's ballroom between 34rd and Oakland ave." The door finally opened and I quickly went in, pushing the button for the down to shut. I forgot one more thing. "I'll BUY A RED DRESS TO MATCH YOUR SUIT!" And with that, Arthur and I were cut off, starting my race to work.


	9. Night Among The Rich And Famous

I made it to work with a few minutes to spare on Tuesday, my hair out of place and my clothes wrinkled from the night before. People who never gave me a second look, stared at me and I could heard them whisper about my appearance. The children didn't care what I looked like, they cared that I was there and happy to see them. On my way to work, I dropped the invites at the post office and picked up 10 packs of crayons and colored paper with the little money I had left so they would at least have this much this money. 

The day went on as normal, paper work and sitting with patients, avoiding people who whispered about one. One man, who I knew was from records asked if I had a weird night, not bothering to even change clothes. I ignored him, walked past as he snickered at me. It was odd. When you sit around and do your job right, no one notices, but the moment they think something is worth noticing, they jump on it like flies.

I finished the small details of the event, planning everything out to the finial detail of what color napkins we'd use. I spent my whole evening working in my office, working until 7 pm, when I decided to take my work with me to finish it. I packed up, locked my door and made my way out of the hospital. Once I was outside, I took a deep breath of the awful night air and quickly made my way home before it got any darker and the creeps came out.

I didn't stop until I was safely in my apartment building, letting out air I didn't know I was holding. I checked the mail, nothing but a few bills, then went up to my apartment, dropping everything on the floor as I shuffled in. 

It was quiet in here, too quiet. There was no noise. I was completely alone. I heard the sounds of sirens outside in the street, but nothing in here. I missed being in Arthur's apartment. It was so much more livelier than this place. I found myself just plopping on the couch and just sitting there. I was unmotivated in doing work after spending all day and night doing it.

I slowly got up and got a cigarette out of the kitchen drawer and sat back down on the couch, lighting it as I got back. Taking a long drag, the feeling came back to me that I felt a few nights ago. 

I was lonely once more.

~~~~~~~~~~

After a few nights of little to black out sleep, it was finally Friday. Thursday was payday and I went out a bought a crimson dress. It was sleeveless, long down to my feet, with a collar that brought the material over the front of my chest. It was very form fitting and professional and It made my figure look good. It was perfect and for once, I felt perfect in my life. I pulled my blonde hair a bit, curling the ends a bit with some cheap curler I bought on Clarence while out shopping. I put a bit of eye shadow and a light shade of lipstick on, giving myself on finally look over before heading out the door. 

When I got to the venue, it was four o'clock, two hours before the big event. I spent those two hours going over schedules I worked on all week, fitting place setting and making sure everyone know where to be, when to be there, and what to do. The room looked beautiful, almost as if I didn't stretch everything in my power to pull this off. It was a quarter to 6 when people started to enter the hall.

I stood along side the usher, thanking people for coming and they barely aknowledged my presence or the fact I was even there. They were dressed in gowns worth more money than I made in a month, jewelry worth more than my whole life and noses so high in the air I could see that they, in fact, had no brain in their heads. I smiled anyways, letting the people continue to pass by me. It was 6:30 and the party was in full swing, people mingling among the crowd, laughing and having a 'good time', being so carefree. I felt rejection start to creep in as each person passed by me, none of being the one person I wanted to see more than any of these other people.

"Why so serious, beautiful?" I heard someone asked, as I turned to see Arthur, standing there was his hand in his pockets. He smiled so innocently as I took his is appearance. It was dressed in his red suit he had wore when he came over to my apartment for dinner, it looked even better on him now under these fancy lights. His hair was combed back and his face was freshly shaven, looking like a million dollars. 

"Arthur." I said, smiling widely and I left my post, to pull Arthur into a tight hug. He stiffened at first, but slowly put his arms around me, returning the gesture. I broke off the hug, grabbing Arthur by the hand and pulled him into the crowd of people, moving along the edge of the social gathering, not wanting to be in it completely yet. I grabbed two glasses of wine from of waiter as he past, handing one to Arthur. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."

"Anything for you." He voice came out clear, but nervousness was laced in his words. I smiled and took a sip of the wine, making a face and stinking out my tongue.

"What I wouldn't give for a cup of coffee." I joked, making a silly face causing Arthur to giggle at me, feeling a bit relaxed. The music was that had been playing the whole time suddenly pierced Arthur's ears and he turned a looked almost star struck when he realized who they were.

"Is that-?"

"Don Ellis and his Jazz Orchestra from your favorite show, The Murray Franklin Show? why yes it is!" I said with excitement as Arthur took a minute to finally obverse the band in person. They had just ended a song, and began to play another one. Arthur threw back his glass of wine like a pro, before grabbing my wrist, placing it on a random table near us.

"Dance with me." He said, leaving no room for argument as I was dragged to the dance floor, where a crowd had formed. I placed my glass down as I pasted a table, when Arthur pulled me into his arm. One hand in mine and an arm around my waist, I let my hand rise to his shoulder as he lead us around the dancing floor. He was a great dancer.

"You're a really good dancer."

"I know." He said, cockily as he looked around the room. "You know who's not." He took my hand, and pointed out a fat man, who was clearly didn't have a clue how to dance to this kind of music, waving his body around like a greasy pig. "Him." 

I laughed as we continued to spin around the room, laughing with each other and having a connection like I never felt before. People paid no mind to us and we didn't care. We were happy in our own world.

"Having a good time, Sandra?" I heard from behind me. My whole body froze, causing to stop and look confused as to why I stopped in the middle of the dance. 

"Shit." I whispered, knowing who I would see as I slowly turned to confirm the voice that I haven't heard from in such a long time. There she stood, the woman who gave me life. Elaine Daniels.


	10. Mother Of The Year

Elaine Daniels was a beautiful woman, you could ask anyone, even her own daughter would say how perfect she looked. She was a woman in which everything was perfect. She stood in the room as if she was the attraction that everyone came for. Not a blonde hair out of place, she stood 6'1" in her 3-inch heels, making enough the above-average men feel small next to her. Her makeup was flawless, ruby red lips and dramatic dark eye shadow that matched her light brown eyes completely. Her dress was something to be seen, it was strapless, and seemed to only be held up with her DD cup breasts, was black, which only made her diamond jewelry stand out more.

With a wiggle of her finger, she directed me to move from the dance floor, and Arthur followed, not really knowing what else to do. We found a corner of the venue that not a lot of people were crowded in, when she grabbed a glass of whiskey as the waiter passed by, downing it as I always remembered her doing growing up.

"It has been a while," was all she said.

"Since I called you last Christmas, which went straight to your answering machine and you never called me back," I tried to say calmly, but still came out with venom. "Or since I last saw you 5 years ago? After you refused to help me by refusing to write a recommendation letter."

"No need to be so dramatic, Sandra." She said as if it was as simple as talking about the weather that evening. "23 years old and still acting like a child."

I started to shake. "I'm 24 now. My birthday was 2 months ago."

"Was it?" She asked and I felt something snap inside of me. My body went numb and my face fell, my eyes glazed over and I heard my own mom didn't even remember the day she gave birth to me. "Oh well, what's past is past. Look at how well you've done for yourself. You didn't even need my help."

"Of course not." I felt dread as my emotions inside were jumping from one place to the next at lightning speed. "Can't get the help that was never there."

"Exactly." She said, smiling, completely misunderstanding the point I was trying to make as she reached for another glass of alcohol as a different waiter passed by. Arthur stood there, awkwardly as words were exchanged between to two of us. "And how is this with you?"

"This is Arthur. He's my date this evening."

"And what does he do?" Acting as if he wasn't standing behind me the whole time.

"He's a clown."

"I can see that darling, I asked what he does for a living." If I hadn't been the one in charge of this event, I would have reached out and punched her goddamn lights out. "By the way, isn't he a little old for you? If I taught you anything, sleep with older men who could boost your career, or at least look like they could give you a good fuck."

"Elaine Daniels, as I live and breathe." I wasn't given the chance to attack as Doug, my douche bag boss, came between us, interrupting us. Mom put on her thousand-watt smile, as she held out her hand for him to kiss. He grabbed it and his lips lingered for too long on her before pulling away. "Doug Hathaway, Director at the Hospital your Sandra has been working at for the past few months."

"I'm glad to hear she's doing so well." She faked, as if she known that I had been in touch that well.

"Yes. Top of her class, community service like no one I've ever seen, and a recommendation from on the world most beautiful and best doctor in their field." My rage froze me stiff as Doug just dug my grave right in front of me, handing the shovel over to my mother. "You were right, I don't regret hiring you're daughter as my activities director, I mean," He gestured around to the room. "Look at how wonderful the night turned out thanks to her, taking in my vision of the image of our hospital." Doug went on and on about himself, but I could only hear him putting the nails in my coffin as he told her about her recommendation to hire me.

Mom, being the prefect woman that she was, never let it show on her face about the new piece of information that was handed to her on a silver platter, but her eyes were set to kill as Doug continued on about himself. I was luckily pulled out of my frozen state as Arthur pushed past us, running into the restroom, holding a hand over his mouth. I could hear the sound as he pushed the door open, a laugh escape and was heard in the small area we were. We had made him uncomfortable. 

"Well, Doug, why don't we go find a drink somewhere and I can show you were Sandra gets all of her talent from." Mom used her seduction voice, pulling Doug along like a lovesick puppy. "I will be seeing you later."

I waited for her to leave, before going into the restroom to hear Arthur's painful laughter. I found him sitting on the floor, holding himself together as the laughter came out. It was more painful than I heard it before. Everything with my mom must have been too much for him.

"I'm sorry Arthur. I didn't know she would actually come to this. She never comes to anything I invite her to, not saying I do stuff often but still." I got down beside him, rubbing his back and waiting with him for it to stop. "I'm sorry we made you uncomfortable. She's an awful person, an awful mom, and an awful doctor."

The laughter finally died out and Arthur looked like he'd seen better days. His eyes held a long distance stare as I kept rubbing his back. 

"You're 24." was the first thing that came out of his mouth. "You're 24 years old."

"Yeah, and...?" I asked, not getting the full picture here.

"I'm so much older than you."

"Arthur, who cares. I don't."

"Sandra, I'm 35." 11 years older than me. I couldn't say I saw that coming, we didn't look far apart in age. "That's a long gap of time between two people." He never looked more serious about anything else since I had known him. "You are so young, so many more years to come. You're wasting them on someone as messed up as me."

"Arthur. I. Don't. Care." I stated to him slowly, as if it was a joke he just wasn't getting. "Number is nothing but a number, what matters is how we feel about one another. All I know is being with you, short of time as it has been, has been the most amazing time of my life. I feel like I'm actually living instead of just existing." I grabbed a hold of his face, making him look straight in the eye. "All I care about is being with you, fuck other people"

He looked as if he was about to break down crying any second before whispering. "Please be real." So softly, I almost missed as his hand went behind my neck and pulled my lips to his, sending a wave of euphoria through my body. I've never been kissed before, but it only felt right to put my arms around his neck and we sat on the bathroom floor, at the event I was technically hosting, having my first kiss with a man I truly cared about.


	11. Broken Down And Built Back Up

I sat in my office, smiling to myself as I worked on next month's activity schedule for the children. They actually gave my department some of the funding the Wayne family gave us, in order to make up the cost of the event. I was shocked farther when they gave me an extra $500 a month for funding. I was never happier, being able to give the children more toys and art supplies to help entertain themselves with. I even went the mile and ordered several subscriptions of magazines targeted at children. 

It had been two wonderful weeks since Arthur and I had kissed at the hospital event. Everything was going great between us. Every minute I didn't focus on work was focused on Arthur. Arthur would meet me after I got off work, we'd walk home together, laughing and enjoying each other's company along the way, before we made it back to my apartment to spend some alone time together before heading up to Arthur's for dinner and to watch TV, staying up until the Murray show, dancing whenever the music segments came on. He'd twirl me around the apartment, careful not to wake his mother up.

Arthur made me happy and, for the first time in my life, everything seemed to be going just right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I checked my watch again, it was almost 6 o'clock. I sat patiently, continuing to wait for Arthur to come and walk me home. I got off at 5. I didn't want to stay here any longer by myself, so I decided to make my long journey home by myself. I just hoped Arthur was okay. He told me about the recent job he was doing at a record store that was going out of business. He'd been there all week, even bought me a few new records for my collection. 

When I finally made it back to our apartment, I went straight to Arthur's, to check on him and his mother. I knocked for several minutes, only to get no response. I turned away, deciding Arthur wasn't home, when the door opened revealing Arthur's mother, Penny.

"Happy, did you lock yourself-. Oh, you're not Happy." I smiled at her, Happy was such a cute nickname for Arthur. 

"No, it's Sandra, Arthur's girlfriend." I said, turning my full attention back to her. We meet a few times, surely she remembers me by now. 

"Yes, the girl who takes such good care of my Happy." She smiled and shuffled back into the dimly light apartment. "Happy hasn't come home yet." Was all she said before going to sit down on the lounge chair, giving her focus to the lights of the magic box.

I followed her in, shutting the door and taking off my backpack and my dark green hoodie, one that Arthur made me invest in last week. "Have you eaten anything today, Ms. Fleck?" Knowing the answer before the question even came out. 

"I haven't been hungry." Was all she said, eyes in a dreamlike state, glued to the TV. I smiled, helping myself to their fridge, seeing enough to make the both of us a nice turkey sandwich with mayo. I got to work on the food, as Penny zoned out in the living room. Once I finished and plated them, I took both, handing one to Penny, who was shocked that I feed her.

"Please eat. It makes him worry when you don't" I smiled at her as she took the plate from me. 

"I wouldn't want Happy to worry." We slowly ate in silence, staring at the TV News program Penny watched.

Another hour passed and Penny went to bed for the evening, I started to pace the floor of their apartment, wondering where the hell Arthur was. I was on my third cigarette when I heard the clicks of the locks being undone from the front door, and Arthur stepped into the apartment. He looked so tired as I watched him limp inside, tossing his keys down. 

"My god, where have you been?" I asked, put out the last cigarette before rushing over to him and pulling him into a tight hug. He groaned in pain and shifted under my embrace. I pulled back immediately, taking in Arthur's face. He had a bit of blood coming down from his forehead. "Oh my god, what happened?"

He chuckled a bit. "I got jumped by a bunch of kids today."

"Oh Arthur." I said, gently taking his face in my hand, making him look at me. I could see that he had been crying. I pulled Arthur in the apartment, shutting the door behind us, and dragged him straight into the bathroom. I tapped the side of the tub, motioning for him to sit and I looked around the place for some bandages and alcohol. I grabbed what I needed, and turned to find Arthur still standing at the doorway of the bathroom. "Sit down Arthur. You're too tall." 

He sheepishly made his way over, sitting down on the side of the tub. I stood between his legs, his head was right in front of my chest, and got to work. I put a little alcohol on the washcloth and began to clean up the bit of blood he had on his forehead. Arthur looked so lost, like he didn't understand what I was doing for him. 

"Tell me what happened."

"Some kids, t-they stole my sign from that record store I've been at the past week. I chased after them. I should have just let it go, they were kids." He took a deep, shaky breathe, and his hand made their way to my hips, holding onto me as I worked. "They slammed my sign over my head, and kicked me when I was down."

"Oh Arthur." I felt tears well up in my eyes as he told me everything that happened to him today. 

"It was too late by the time I got to the hospital. You were long gone, so I came home." He finished, still clinging to me. "I thought you would be mad at me for not being there to pick you up."

"Arthur." I pulled his head up to look at me. "You had a bad day. I'm not mad. I'm worried you're not okay."

"I feel much better now." He chuckled, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer before letting go, whimpering in pain. I pulled back from him and began to unbutton his brown sweater, removing it from him, then went to work on his white button up. His face got red with embarrassment, grabbing my hands, stopping me from going any farther. "Why, Ms. Daniels, this is so sudden." He teased me, trying to cover up the fact he was red.

"I need to check you out Arthur, see if anything is broke or worth going to the hospital for." I tried to unbutton him once, more but he leaned away, nearly falling into the tub behind him.

"I can't afford going to the hospital." He said softly, looking down as if he was ashamed of having little money. 

"Then let me look. Please." He slowly let go of the shirt, unbuttoning it himself. He carefully removed it, and let it fall into the tub. I tried not to gasp. He was way skinnier than I thought he was. It was like he never at a meal in his life. I could make out all of his ribs. Even worse, he was bruised. Badly.

I traced my fingers over his shoulder, drinking in all of the skin I could set my eyes on. His shoulder looked the worst, already a nasty, dark color. I ran my hand down his ribs, put pressure to see if any of them were broken. He'd hiss in pain every once and awhile, but from what I could feel, nothing was broken.

"Does anything else hurt?" 

"My ankle." he answered me honestly, lifting his right ankle up to me. I carefully remove his shoe and sock, looking over his ankle. It didn't look too serious, nothing rest and an ice pack couldn't fix. 

"Good news, nothing is broken," I said, standing back up, wiping my hands on my pants. "Bad news," I said, giving Arthur a teasing look. "I'm awfully expensive." He looked panicked for a brief second before taking in my facial expression and relaxed again.

"I'm sure I could find some way to pay you back." He teased, reaching down and taking off his other shoe. 

"Lucky, I'm having a special." I leaned forward and grabbed his face, holding it as I brought mine closer. "I'm accepting payment in the form of kisses from gentleman only name Arthur Fleck."

His eyes darkened as he let out a groan, not sure if it was pleasure or pain. "That I can happily pay in full." I lowered my lips to his, trying to be gentle in the state he was in, but he had other ideas. He grabbed me by the back of my head and put more pressure and passion into the kiss. I moaned as I felt his tongue move across my lips, silently asking me to open up. Arthur movee a knee between my legs and pulled me down so I was straddling his knee, put a wonderful pressure against my core.

I let out a loud moan at this action, unable to stop my hips and then began to move against his thigh. His lips left mine, slowly making their way down to my neck, before stopping, biting and sucking on a weak point on my throat. I groaned loudly, my hand made their way up to his shoulder, unconsciously squeezing on his bruise, causing the moment to break when Arthur yipped out in pain. With the yip, I jumped back and off of Arthur, my face flushed a bright shade of red. 

"We need to get you ice. Yep, ice!" I said, taking a few paces back. "A nice shower will help your muscles too. Yep." I backed out of the bathroom, Arthur stared at me as I did. "You shower and by the time you're out, I'll have a nice cold ice pack waiting for you and a nice sandwich. Yep."

I heard him chuckle as I high tailed it out of there like someone light my ass on fire. I busied myself making a few ice packs and making him a sandwich with the leftover turkey in the fridge. I spent a few minutes standing in front of the open freezer door, trying to cool myself down. 

It was nearly time for Murray, when Arthur finally came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist as he went to the corner to grab some clothes, and I couldn't help myself from staring as he walked around. He turned around, clothes in hand, to find me staring at him. In panic, I turned my attention to the something on the fridge, playing with a magnet that was suddenly so fascinating. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Arthur smirk at me and slowly made his way to bathroom, with a bit of pop in his step.

"Sandra, why don't you spend the night here." He said, turning the corner and leaning the frame of the bathroom door. "I could really use a friend right now." He pouted, looking like a child who was told he couldn't have something. 

"Ummm.....sure.... but where would I sleep?"

"On the couch, with me." The words came out so smooth that I felt my heart skip a beat at the thought. I turned to looked at Arthur completely to find it was like I wasn't staring at the same Arthur. His body, as bruised as it was, was relaxed and posture demanded to be noticed, confidante in the words he just spoke. My jaw dropped a bit, feeling a wetness pool between my legs, causing me to shift in my spot in the kitchen.

"Ummmm....I need to get my pjs." I said stupidly, pointing down to the floor, where my apartment was. He chuckled, turning away back into the bathroom.

"Well, hurry up. Murray starts in 8 minutes." Arthur replied as he shut the door. I quickly sprung into action, rushing out the door and down to my apartment, grabbing my pjs and ... taking care of some things ....


	12. Hot And Heavy

"Well don't you look adorable." I heard Arthur say as I closed the door behind me after I went home to change. I put on my only pair of PJs I owned, my light blue, soft and comfy long sleeve top and matching bottoms. I felt like a five-year-old as I put my hair back into a ponytail, something I only did at night so I didn't wake up with a lot of hair in my mouth.

I turned around to find Arthur sitting on the couch, cigarette lit and fully dressed in a long sleeve shirt and pair of pajama bottoms. I felt my face turn red as I locked the door and shuffled my way over to the couch, taking my place next to Arthur as a familiar theme song come from the TV. I never slept in the room with someone else before, other than my roommate in college, but I didn't feel anything for her like I felt for the man next to me.

I mean, there was a few weeks ago, but I meant to stay up all night, not pass out in front of him. 

"Yea, Murray." Arthur said with a genuine smile, reaching over and turning off the only source of light in the room, other than the TV. His hand moved towards me, offering me the last half of his cigarette, which I gladly took. I was nervous as all hell and I think Arthur noticed. He looked calm and relaxed compared to the broken Arthur I patched up in the bathroom earlier. I enjoyed the remains of the cigarette before crushing it into the ashtray. 

On the first commercial break, I went to the kitchen to find the ice pack I had made earlier on the counter, along with the untouched sandwich. I sighed and grabbed the pack, and sandwich, juggling them between hands and elbows as I made my way back over to Arthur. I held out the sandwich to him, shaking it as he just stared at it. He smirked and took it from me, taking a mockingly big bite out of it, with a playful growl.

I leaned over, grabbing the bottom of his pants, pulling his leg up and propped it up on the table, pressing the first pack over it. I then leaned over him, placing the other pack on his shoulder, but he had another idea as he pulled my wrist, spinning me around, causing me to squeal and falling onto his lap. He laughed, propping up his other leg on the coffee table, cradling me in his arm as I stared up at him, dumbfounded. He supported my back and his other arm bent in front of me, holding the sandwich to my lips.

"Open up, here comes to choo choo train." He giggled making a choo choo noise, making me feel as if I really was a five year old. I refused to open my mouth, trying my best to glare at him, which didn't seem to work as well as I hoped because he laughed at my antics. "Come on, Sandra. When was the last time you ate something?" He said a slightly worried look on his first, once the giggles had subsided.

"A few hours ago. I made a sandwich for me and your mother while you were gone." I stated, pushing the sandwich to his mouth. He looked shocked at my answer.

"You made food for my mother?" He asked as if it was unheard of. I nodded.

"Of course I did. You weren't here, and from what you told me, she won't eat on her own. I made her a sandwich and guilt her into eating it."

"And she ate the whole thing?" Still in shock.

"The whole sandwich," I said, pushing the sandwich closer to Arthur's mouth and he took another bite of it, nearly the whole thing. I watched closely, mainly being so close to him, finishing the sandwich and wrapped his arm around my waist, softly rocking me as his eyes focused on Murray doing some kind of bit, but I wasn't paying attention to him. I felt my eyes start to shut as Arthur rocked me in his arms. It was so peaceful, so soothing. 

Before I knew it, darkness took over and I was out like a light.

I woke up, an unknown amount of time later, to find it was still dark outside. I couldn't tell what time it was, but I knew it was too early to be up. I reached up to rub my eyes, when I felt the couch move under me. I nearly jumped out of my skin at the feeling, fully opening my eyes to find my head against Arthur's chest.

Somehow, when I was out cold, Arthur managed to lay down on the couch and got me to lay on top of him. I could feel our legs entwine together, his chest rise and fall, and his arm draped around my back, holding me there as he slept. I turned my head up to look at a sleeping Arthur, a rare sight to be seen.

He looked so peaceful, as if all the weight of his life was lifted off of him as he slept. His other arm was placed behind his head, like a makeshift pillow. I couldn't help but watch him as he slept, he looked even more handsome as the wrinkles smoothed out over his relaxed features, taking years off of him. 

I couldn't stop myself and I reached up, to remove a piece of hair that was just out of place and blocking his face, but this caused him to jump and my finger brush against his forehead. He looked around as if he was being attacked, but settling down when he realized I was laying on top of him, breathing out a sigh of relief.

"It's too early for this." He chuckled, bringing his arm out from behind his head, rubbing the tired away from his face. He looked at me through his finger, with a gentle smile. I couldn't stop myself, I pulled myself to his face and planted my lips on his. He was taken off guard, eyes widened as I attacked him, quickly catching on to what I was doing. He sat up a bit, pulling my head closer to his, deepening the kiss between us.

Just like before in the bathroom, it was hard and passionate, I couldn't stop the noises from my mouth, to which Arthur happily swallowed. He grabbed me by the waist, pulling me up and moved himself underneath me, to a sitting of position on the couch, leaning on the back of the back of it. I placed my hands on either side of his head, gripping the couch in my grasp as Arthur's hand stayed on my waist, guiding my hips and began to thrust his up into mine.

I moved my hips with his, causing us both to groan as we rubbed ourselves against one another. His tongue entered my mouth before pulling back completely, speaking to me in a deep harsh tone. "Tell me where to touch you."

I groaned at hearing this. "Anywhere. Everywhere. Please." I begged, gripping the couch so hard I thought it would rip under my nails.

"Tell me." He demanded, thrusting into me more, causing me to moan a bit louder than before. I let go of the couch, grabbing both of his hands and moved them under my shirt and then under the sports bra I never normally wore to bed, but I was nervous being with him. I had his hand grab both of my breasts. "Here. Touch me here." I held onto his hands and he started to play with my breasts, rubbing his thumb over my nipple, causing me to buckle more onto his thirst. His hands left my body momentarily, grabbing the bottom on my top, lifting it up and over my head, and then quickly removed my bra before launching forward, taking one of my nipples into his mouth. My hands found their way into his hair, holding him close to me, never wanting to let go.

We kept going like a couple of teenagers, dry humping one another into pleasure I never felt before on my own. I felt my stomach grow tighter and tighter, knowing what would follow soon if he kept up his assault on my body. His hips moved even faster, chasing his own pleasure as his lips switched to my other breast, His lips, tongue and teeth bit, tasted and marked my skin and I was enjoying every bite he gave me.

"Please Arthur. I'm so close." I whimpered, my hips getting tired but wanted to cum more than anything and kept going. I grabbed his hand, moving it to the front of my pjs, wanting something more. His hand allowed mine to guild his right to the spot I needed it the most, hit it in just the hit way. "Right there. Touch me right there." I moved his hand in circles and he caught on quickly to the rhythm. Causing a cry to leave my lips, nearing closer and closer to climax.

"Tell me who you belong to." He stated out of nowhere, pulling away from my breast, looking up at me with a hunger I never know him to have. "Who is the only one who can make you feel like this."

I couldn't help myself as his name fell from my lips. "Arthur. You Arthur. Only you." And with that weak confession, my climax hit, causing me to call out his name loudly as my body jerked and twitch. He groaned loudly as well, hitting his climax, before slowly stopping his thirst and my body gave out, causing me to collapse onto his chest, struggling to find air. Arthur's breaths were just as heavy as mine, trying to capture oxygen as well. Once we both seemed to come down from our high, Arthur pulled his hand out of my pants, making me groan and twitch once more. He wrapped his arm around me, and leaned forward, taking me with him as he grabbed the pack of smokes and lighter off the table, putting two in his mouth and lighting them both. Tossing the pack and light beside us, he grabbed one of the cigarettes and gently put it between my lips.

"You look like you could use one." I don't think I laughed so hard in my life.


	13. Make The Pain Stop

I felt incredible as I walked out of the apartment complex and down the road to work. Spending the night with Arthur was just amazing. I never felt anything like a felt with Arthur this morning. After we finished our cigarettes, we got a few more hours of sleep before I had to go get ready for work, then I had the next day off. 

As I walked into work, I did what I always do, visit the children. They greeted me with smiles and hugs, thanking more for the new toys most of them were playing with and new books to read, plus the most important thing, the 64 pack of crayons that I bought five of. All the kids were enjoying it and I beamed with excitement. As soon as I got to my office, I got to work, calling the Ha ha's entertainment to see if they could see Arthur over on Monday, giving the kids something to look forward too.

The man on the phone was shocked when I asked for Arthur specifically, not believing that someone actually thought he was funny. I just bragged about how well he did with the children that last night he was here, hoping to give him a boost in his career. 

I got to work on the next few months of entertainment for the kids, able to now get twice as much entertainment for them rather than just the random few. I put my nose to the books and when I finally came up for air, it was already time to leave. Arthur told me he had to go to another gig, and wouldn't be home until late, so I wouldn't wait for him to pick me up.

I smiled, putting everything away before grabbing my back pack and hoodie as I walked out the door, whistling to myself as I locked the door. I turned to start my way to the elevator, when I noticed Doug standing right behind me, scaring the shit out of me. I didn't even hear him come up to me. 

"Sandra, we need to talk. Come with me." Was all he said, before walking to his office, which was opposite of the direction I wanted to go. I dragged my feet, remembering the last encounter I had with him end with him leaving with my mom, who I'm sure slept with him. We got into his office, he motioned for me to go in first and I did so, soon completely regretting my decision and he followed in behind me, closing the door and my heart dropped as I heard the door lock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All I could do was run. Run as hard and as fast as I could. My breathing was labored, my feet ached and my body felt numb, but I didn't stop running until I found myself at the arches of my apartment complex , and I didn't bother with the piss slow elevator, choosing to run up the stairs and straight for my door. I fumbled a bit, trying to get my keys out of my backpack, and after several times of getting the key in the lock, I swung my door open and slammed in shut behind me, locking it as tight as it would go.

I slide to the floor in a heaping messing, trying to pull myself together as the image wouldn't leave my mind.

~Doug locked the door and turned his attention to me, blocking the only entrance in and out of his office. I began to feel uneasy, shift my weight from one foot to another.

"You're mother told me a few interesting things about you, Sandra."

"And what might that be?" I asked, surely knowing the answer, but played dumb.

"She told me she never wrote any kind of letter of recommendation for you about this job. In fact, she said she doesn't want you to be treated any better just because of who she is." Doug said to get closer to me, causing me to slowly back up until my butt hit the front of his desk. He stopped when he was close enough to place a hand on my shoulder. "She also told me about your other secret, about you get ahead in a field like ours." He began to rub the spot on my shoulder. I frowned, shrugging his hand off of my shoulder.

"What she told you about me getting ahead in my career was a lie. I work very hard to get where I am today, I have no need for that kind of thing."

"So all your hard work got you here? Did it get you a raise in your budget so you won't have to spend your own money for stupid clowns for the brats."

I froze. I didn't think anyone would notice where the money was coming from for the entertainment, so long as it was there. He placed his hand back on my shoulder.

"Consider it an advancement for what's to come." He gripped my shoulder tight, and it all seemed to flash before my eyes. His lips were on mine, as his hand slid up my skirt. I fought him with everything I had, but when I felt his hand touch me only where Arthur had, I completely lost it. I opened my mouth and bite his lips so hard, I could feel it tear between my teeth.

He yelled out and I used this to thrust my leg up and hard as I possibly could, hit him in that thing he called a penis. He screamed even louder than before and went he was down to my level, bent over in pain. I drew my fist back and with everything I had knocked his lights out. I quickly moved around the unconscious body, unlocking the door and ran like my life depended on it.~

I curled into a ball on the floor, crying my heart out. How could I have let that happen. How could my mother say such untrue things than cause Doug to think it was okay to do this to me. I laid there for what felt like forever, my head turning and turning over and over of how everything went so wrong so fast.

I heard a knock at my door, which cause me to come out of my coma-like state. I didn't want to answer it, fearful of who I could be. What if Doug called the police on me? Or someone else? 

"Sandra? It's Arthur. Are you home?" His voice sounded excited as if he was going to explode if I didn't answer the door. I pulled myself up, my body so stiff from being there for what I could only guess was a few hours. I sat up just enough to unlock the door and turn the knob, opening the door slightly.

I left it there, as Arthur cautiously, a frown was on his face. That frown turned to shock as he found me on the floor, a complete sobbing mess as I moaned out his name in agony. "Arthur." He stood there, completely taken back by the sight of me, a broken soul that needed help.

"Oh my god." He whispered, cautiously coming into the apartment, getting down on his hands and knees, slowly grabbing my face as I flinched a few times under his touch. He ran his finger under my lip. "Why are you covered in blood?" His tone then turned dark, his eyes shadowed over with a rage to which the world was not ready for. "Who did this to you?"

All I could chock out between my sobbing was his name, as he pulled the rest of me into a hug, rocking me softly as he stroked my hair, letting me cry as much as I wanted. He eventually kicked the front door shut with his foot, when someone walked by and stared in at the two of us. 

"Come on Sandra. Let's get you cleaned up."


	14. Make Me Feel Better

Steam rose around me and the tub was nearly full of water. Arthur came into the bathroom, and turned off the faucet, cutting off my supply of boiling hot water. I was completely naked, sitting in the middle of my tub, with my knees to my chest and arms around my legs. I just stared off into space as Arthur rolled up his sleeve and sat down on the floor, next to the tub, and grabbed a wash cloth and my bar of soap.

He talked to me as he lathered up the wash cloth. "I won't make you talk about if you don't want to right now, but you're going to need to talk about it eventually." He placed the wash cloth in the water, and brought it up to my face, wiping off the blood and making me look up at him. His smile was a sad one. "And when you do want to talk, just know that I'm hear to listen."

I stared at him as he washed my face and ran water over parts of my body, which was soothing. I began to relax in his touch, leaning into it, carving it. No one had ever taken care of me before, for as long I could remember. 

"How was work?" I asked, wanting a distraction from my own pains.

"It went very well. I went to the children's hospital on the other side of Gotham. They were having a 'night at the circus' program for the kids. There was popcorn, cotton candy, games, and me, the clown." He beamed as he went on about the whole event, especially how the kid reacted to his jokes and gags. I found myself laughing he over dramatic explanations some of the actions they kids did, making funny faces at me and waving his arms around. 

He helped me wash and even washed my hair for me, slowly putting the pieces back together of my mind. He was so kind, treating me as if I was glass, which I didn't know I needed until he came to the door. He drained the water, grabbing me a used towel off of the floor, and went to wrap it around me, but I went in for a hug, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. I buried my face into his chest as his arms softly wrapped around me, dropping the towel to it's original resting place. 

"Arthur." I whispered into his body. "Why are you so perfect."

I felt him stiffen, squeezing me a bit tighter. "Anything for you." 

After a few minutes of staying wrapped in each other arms, I slowly pulled away from Arthur, looking up at his face as tears began to form back in my eyes. "Kiss me." I asked, wanting Arthur's lip to erase all trace of that asshole's touch. He leaned down, softly putting his lips onto mine. It started out slow and started to get heated, as my hands moved up his body and wrapped around his neck. 

We slowly moved about the apartment, making our way to my bedroom, bumping into walls and books along the way. Our lips didn't untangle until we reached my bed, because could tell where it was without a full view of the room. I pulled his lip back to mine as I started to pull at his shirt, unbuttoning and removing it, then started on his pants. His hands stopped mine, pulling them back up to his neck and his moved to my hips, pushing me to the direction of the bed, and pushed me down, which caused me to scream. It was a long fall to the floor. 

Arthur stood there, staring down at me, with eyes that was so unsure if this was real or not. I smiled, and reached out, grabbing his hand, giving it a slight tug. He finally came down to my level, grabbed my head in his hands and just looking at me before diving in for the kill.

Arthur's hand moved away from my face, traveled down to my breast, evoking a moan from deep inside me, encouraging Arthur to continue. Our tongues got involved, all I tasted was the tobacco and coffee in his mouth, which was comforting in its own way. Arthur tasted just like two of my favorite favors.

I began to lean backward on the bed, pulling Arthur with me. His hand left my body to brace his as he pulled away, looking down at me, a panting mess under his gaze. He was just as breathless as I was. My legs moved to his hips, pulling him closer to where I needed him the most. He groaned, buckling into me. 

"Are you sure about this? We don't have to do this, to do anything." Sweet Arthur. I couldn't help but smile widely at he asked me for permission. 

"Please Arthur," I said, running my hand down my body, hoping to entice him to touch me. My hand traveled all the way to my core, gasping as my hand hit my sweet spot. "I need you to touch me. Take the pain away." I panted, begging him with my simple words, which was all he needed before his hand grabbed mine, pushing it above my head, entwining our finger together as our lips came together once more. 

His other hand traveled down, replacing where mine had been second before, his fingers barely brushing against the tender nerve. He pulled away once more, to look into my soul as I felt everything inside me come to the surface. "Is this where you need me? Need me to touch?" He teased his finger over the nerve again.

"Yes! Please Arthur, please." He added more pressure, rubbing me in circles just like he had done this morning. My body tensed and melted into the mattress all at the same time, moans pouring out of my mouth as Arthur watched me unfold before him. He pulled back forth, as his tested the water and slowly pushed a single digit inside of me, retrieving a huge thirsty groan from me as my back arched into it. 

He started his pace out so, hit my nerve with every thrust of his hand, causing me to come farther undone under his touch. He added a another finger, causing my head to fall back. My body jerked and twisted, never feeling like this before, wondering how I went this long in life without feeling like this. 

"Art-thur." I groaned out, trying to remember how words were formed. "I need you. Inside me." He stopped completely, both hand leaving me to reach down and removed his pants and underwear, leaving us both completely naked together for the first time. I blushed as I felt his length brush up against my thigh, flinching at the sudden contact. He grabbed himself, lining himself up with my entrance, getting ready to do the deed.

My hand shot up to gave his arm before he could go any farther. "Please be gentle. I've....ummm....." I could look at him as I said this. "Never done this before."

The look of shock was hard to miss as he completely clammed up, stopping all movement above me. I suddenly felt ashamed of being a virgin for so long, secretly cursing myself for not accept that frat boys offer to have a go in college. In a flash of lightening, I took Arthur's pause as a sign of rejection and a seeds of self doubt began to grow.

"I'll be as gentle as I can." He said, still a bit in shock, unfreezing a bit, pushing the tip inside me a bit. I held my breath as he slowly eased the rest of himself in me, ever so slowly until I felt him bottom out. He pulled back just as slowly, not leaving me and pushing back into me. A gasp left my lips as I felt completely full, a new and exciting feeling took over, I could think of nothing else but Arthur and how he was making me feel. "Good god, you feel so good around me." He whispered, one hand resting beside my head as his other held my hip.

He kept going at a slow pace until it just wasn't enough for me anymore. "Faster." I whimpered out and my prayer was answered as Arthur began to speed up. I felt on the verge of passing out, this feeling was too much to bear. He went even faster, grabbing both of my hips, giving us a different angle, thrusting deeper and harder into me. I began to lose myself in the pleasure as Arthur grunted and groaned as if he was losing himself as well.

I felt him getting closer and he sped up, a hand left my hip and grabbed onto my breast, pulling the nipple hard enough that it felt so painfully good. "I'm the first man who ever made you feel this good. Who is the only man you need to make you feel this good." He demanded from me, leaning closer to hear my answer.

"You! Arthur! You!" I chanted out as I felt the knot in my stomach about to snap.

"Who do you belong to?" He said in a voice so deep if my mind was anywhere else would have troubled me. My mind went completely blank as I called out his name, climaxing as Arthur let out a groan and poured everything he had into me. He fell beside me, completely out of breath as well. We laid there, catching our breath and listening to the sounds of the city outside.

"That was incredible'" Arthur said in awe, a sense of wonder lace in his voice. I smiled to myself, happy with a decision to give Arthur my virginity.

"Yea it was." I said, turning on my side to face Arthur. "Thank you, Arthur. For everything."

"Anything for you." He whispered, putting an arm around my back, pulling me onto his chest, and ran his hand through my hand as darkness pulled me into its sweet grasp for another night.


	15. Oh Where,Oh Where Could He Be?

I managed to pull myself up and go to work after my day off, with a new sense of self-worth and confidence that I never had before. The night with Arthur did wonders for me. We spent the next day in bed together, focusing on each others bodies and smoking cigarettes between rounds of sex. The only time Arthur left was when he had to check on his mom and got to work, only to return to my bed afterward.

As soon as I walked in the doors of the hospital, I went to straight Human Resources about what happened with Doug. Unsurprisingly, he hadn't shown up to work in the past few days, family emergency. I was excited because this afternoon, Arthur was to coming to perform for the kids. I spent most of my time with the children, reading to them and coloring with them, just wanting to be on time for when Arthur gets here.

It was about time for Arthur to get here, when a different clown came into the room. He was a fat man, not smiling and looked like he'd rather be anywhere else but here. "Excuse me? Who are you?"

"I'm Larry the clown. From Ha Ha's Entertainment." The fat man said as if I didn't know what a clown was. He was dressed more like a hobo than a clown.

"I asked for Arthur. Where is Arthur?" I questioned.

"That freak? He got canned this morning." He said, as I completely tensed up.

"What?" I questioned, not believing what I was hearing.

"Yeah. The guy was doing another hospital this morning and took a gun into the place. What a psycho. So they sent me instead." He walked around me, as the children cheered upon the site of him. He wasn't a very good clown, didn't interact with the children like Arthur did and after a long hour of watching this clown not be funny, he left as soon as his hour was over, not before trying to get my phone number.

"No. I don't think my boyfriend, Arthur Fleck, would like that." I said bitterly as this idiot thought he stood a chance after how he treated those kids. 

"No way Arthur scored a beaut like you. You sick in the head like him or something?"

"Get out!" I shouted, pointing him the direction of the elevator. "And tell your boss we will no longer be doing business with Ha ha's entertainment. If it isn't Arthur, then you're not welcomed back!" I shouted and the fat man scoffed at me.

"Whatever. Fucking crazies are everywhere nowadays." He mumbled as his fat ass got on the elevator. I huffed and turned my attention back to the children, most of them feeling sad that the jackass didn't stick around to talk with them personally, like Arthur had. I spent the next hour repairing the emotional damage that asshole had done. When I was finally able to leave the children in an okay state, I booked it out of the hospital, in search of Arthur. 

I spent my own afternoon into the evening, checking his apartment, my apartment, the diner, his favorite club Pogo's, and several other places I've heard Arthur talk about before. Arthur was nowhere to be found. I finally called it quits at a quarter to 9, hoping Arthur would come find me on his own.

I got back to my apartment, not shocked to find it still empty. I couldn't feel much of anything, only worry for Arthur. I grabbed the pack of cigarettes out of the bedroom and sat on the couch, smoking on up immediately. I started to chain smoke, one after another until the pack of cigarettes were almost gone, when a hard knock came from my door. I jumped up, leaving my smoke in the ashtray along the way. 

I opened the door to find Arthur there, still in his clown attire minus the phony green wig. I only got a brief look because of the lunge forward, grabbing my neck and pulling me into a heated kiss. Pushing me into my apartment, shutting the door behind him, he forced my body to the close wall. This wasn't the same Arthur from this morning, where the sex felt loving and caring, this was was rough and rushed and turned me on so much. 

He hand quickly went down to my ass, lifting my legs up and wrapping them around his waist, supporting my weight. The kiss was everywhere, tongues danced together as Arthur began to thirst his pelvis into mine. I groaned as he took my lower lips between his teeth, biting hard enough to make his presence known. His hands left my hips, unbuttoned my work shirt and pulled it from my body. He reached behind and removed my bra without any hesitation. 

His lips moved down my neck, biting and sucking down all the way to my breast, taking my nipple into his mouth, and playing with the other one. "Fuck Arthur." I moaned as his mouth felt amazing on my skin. His tongue ran all over my chest, he had a look in his eye of pure lust. Arthur let me down, only to spin me around, pushing my bare front against the wall. He grabbed my hair, moving it to the side before attacking my neck once more with his teeth.

I braced myself against the wall as his other hand undid my pants, going straight for the kill, finding my opening and sliding two fingers right inside of me. I moaned and screamed as Arthur moved his finger fast and hard. I felt weak, bracing myself entirely against the wall. He had a grip on my hair still, giving it a pull every now and again.

"Who do you belong to?" I felt my whole body shake as he asked me in the deepest, darkest tone I ever heard him use before. It did something to me as I felt more wetness gush out of me. I didn't answer him, only moaning more as I became putty in his hand. There was a sharp tug of my hair and Arthur bite my neck harder than he ever had. "I asked you a question and I expect an answer." He growled as his hold on my skin between his teeth didn't let up. "Who does this pussy belong to?"

"It belongs to you." I panted out, feeling my climax nearing. Arthur was being so different than all of the other times we'd been together, I was having a hard time not being turned on by it. 

"Scream my name." He growled, biting harder as his hand pounded into me and his other one pulled on my tit. 

"ARTHUR!" I screamed and saw stars, my body stiffened as I reached my orgasm. I went limp, but Arthur didn't give me time to recover, and he guided my noodle appendages over to my desk, clearing everything off of it and onto the floor, and bent my body over the edge. My body was weak, laying on the cold surface as Arthur pulled down my pants. I felt him wiggling around behind me and I felt top of his slowly push inside of me.

"Fuck your tight." He hissed and he pushed all the way into me. I could only lay there and take everything Arthur had to give me, moaning as he pulled back out. He slammed back into me, causing me to scream and take hold on the edge of desk. He thrust into me hard, growling as he did. "You like that, don't you? You like when I fuck you. Nice. And. Hard." Each word came out was met with a thrust of his hips.

The desk began to move with us, hitting against the wall as Arthur turned into an animal. I held on for dear life, unsure if I could take much more. Arthur reached down between around and in between my legs, putting pressure on my nerve as he began to lose his rhythm. "No one could make you cum as I can. I want you to cum for me." His words brought me closer and closer and he continued to slam into me and rubbing my clit intensively. 

He growled loudly at me, "Cum for me." He brought his hand up and swatted it hard against my ass, and I couldn't stop myself as I screamed his name, cumming harder than I ever had before. He groaned as he came as well, emptying himself inside of me. He slowed down behind me before coming to a complete stop, taking a minute to catch his breath before pulling out of me. I felt our juice flow out of me, as I laid there, tired and weak against my desk, unsure if I was able to even move anymore. 

I shivered as I felt Arthur's finger tips slowly move there way from the top of my ass, up my spine, and traveled around my neck, tracking his bite mark he left on my neck. I moaned, enjoying his finger tips dances along my skin.

"Shit. I fucked you up good doll." He whispered, with a hint of amazement of his handy work. He gently grabbed a hold of my shoulders, pulling my body up to him, wrapped an arm waist. He chuckled as my body seemed so relaxed, swinging carefree. "Let's get you to bed. You looked completely worn out."

He helped me along as my numb body wobbled to my bedroom. He helped me to bed, keeping my body from falling to quickly. As soon as my head hit the pillow, darkness took over and I was out for the night.


	16. Love And Marriage

I woke up the next morning to find I was alone in my apartment. Arthur had left me some time between last night and this morning. As I made my way into the bathroom, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror and gasp as I looked at what Arthur did to me last night. I was covered in clown paint all over my face, down my neck and all over my breasts. Looking closer at my neck, I found several ugly bite marks, one looking really gruesome. There were also bites scattering downward. 

They weren't painful and looking at them, felt weirdly nice. Arthur has a tendency of making me tell him doing sex that I was his and seeing these marks on me, made me feel like I was his. I smiled, touching them gently as I started into the shower, washing off the clown paint. It took extra time because that shit just wouldn't come off with regular elbow grease.

After a shower and a bit of coffee, I was off to work for the day. I stopped along the way at a clothes store to buy a turtle neck long sleeve shirt, to cover up the hickeys Arthur had left. I did what I usually did when walking into work, I went to see the children. They were excited to see me as always.

The day went by, as usual, drowning myself in paperwork and sitting with a few lonely people in the ICU. It went quickly too. It was 5 o'clock when I walked out of the hospital, to find Arthur standing there, smoking and waiting there for me. I smiled as I reached him and he smiled back at me. I pulled him into a hug, happy to see him. He gladly returned it. We pulled away and was about to start the trek home, when a familiar figure started to walk through the entryway.

It was Doug. His face looked awful, nose offset and bruised and his lip had a scab on it from where I made him bleed. I flinched and leaned slightly into Arthur as I avoided looking any farther at the man. Arthur noticed my actions and looked in the direction I turned from. Arthur must of had put two and two together as a secure arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer at he passed. Arthur glared at him until he was in the hospital, out of sight. 

"Did he hurt you?" Arthur asked, not taking his eyes off of where Doug went.

"He didn't get far. I reported him to HR yesterday. They're going to be handling it."

"And what are they going to do about it?" He sneered, finally looking down at me.

"I'm not sure," I said, feeling a bit low about not knowing what they would do about it. He frowned, before seeing that it caused me to be upset, and dropped the subject. Told me about his day, changing the subject as we walked. He finally signed up for a spot next week at the Pogo lounge to do his stand-up for the first time and wanted to go over his jokes with me.

When we got back to the apartment, I was surprised to find his mom sitting in the living room, watching TV. 

"Happy, did you check the mail?" She asked, not even taking her eyes off of the TV. It felt cold, uncaring. Arthur answered that there was none, stepping in the bathroom.

"Have you eaten today, Ms. Fleck." I asked, making my way into the kitchen to make something for the three of us. By the time I finished cream of chicken soup, Arthur finally came out of the bathroom. While I was making dinner, I heard Arthur being thrown into one of his laughing fit. I didn't want to bother whatever he was doing in there, so I stood and just listened. I smiled at him as he looked so tired from the episode, he gave me a weak one in return. 

I moved past Arthur, bowl in hand to give to Penny. "Here you are Ms. Fleck."

She smiled at me, touching my cheek as she took a bowl of soup from me. "Thank you dear. You take such good care of me." She turned to Arthur, who cared the other bowls of soup in for us, setting them on the table. He sat down on the couch and began to light a cigarette up before eating and I stared straight into my soup. "Marry this one, Arthur."

Arthur stopped lighting his smoke as soup shoot out of my mouth, eye widened. Arthur blushed, suddenly being shy over the subject matter. "We've only been together a month, ma. Isn't it a bit early for marriage talk?"

"Love knows no time." She said, turning her attention back to the television. I blushed and looked at Arthur, who looked over at me too. I didn't know what was to come from our future, but for now. I was just happy being with Arthur.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week went uneventful. Arthur worked on his stand up most of the time, not having a job to go to anymore. He didn't seem too worried, having a new sense of confidence that I'd never seen come from him before. He walked a bit taller, smiled a bit more, just had, in general, a better attitude. I spent every moment of my life around Arthur. He was an addiction at this point. When I wasn't with him or working, I felt lonely and sad. Being around him was giving me a reason to live. 

We spent most of our time together going over jokes for his upcoming act. I spent all my time in their apartment, sleeping with Arthur on the couch, which he never seemed to mind. I think he enjoyed the human contact as much as I did. The only time I would go down was to change my clothes or Arthur and I would sneak away to have sex. 

When I was at work, I would bury myself in it, hoping to get some answer about my problem to Doug, but since the last time, I saw him Doug hadn't been back to work since. Never called off, never showed up, nothing. No one had heard from him and his job went on without him.

"Happy! Come look! Thomas is on the TV." Penny called out to Arthur as he made breakfast for the three of us that morning. I took the day off, helping Arthur get ready for his set at Pogo's that night. I was sitting and watching the news too, in my pj's. "They're interviewing him about the murders that happened last week."

"Murders? What murders?" I asked Penny as her sight was only set on Thomas Wayne. 

"Haven't you heard? Three men were killed on the subway last week, some clown killed them." Penny Informed me as Arthur brought in two bowls of oatmeal, tossed them on the coffee table as his eyes glued themselves to the TV as well.

"What does he have to do with them?" Arthur asked as he grabbed a cigarette and began to smoke.

"...as you know, Jerry, all three of them worked at Wayne Investments, and they were the best of the best. Solid young men. And while I didn't know them personally, like all Wayne employees, past and present, they were family."

"You hear that! I told you! We're family." Penny shouted as Arthur hushed her. 

"Yes, and it's a shame. It's one of the reasons I'm considering a run for mayor. Gotham has lost its way."

I looked over at Arthur, who looked unnerved by Thomas talking about the murders. His legs begin to twitch as he inhaled and exhaled the cigarette slowly. 

"Arthur?" I asked but I was hushed too. I felt discouraged and grabbed my bowl of oatmeal, trying not to yak at the taste. He didn't put any sugar in it.

"What kind of coward would do something that cold-blooded? Someone who hides behind a mask. Someone who's envious of those more fortunate than themselves, yet too scared to show their own face. And until that jealousy ends, those of us who've made a good life for ourselves will always look at those who haven't as nothing but clowns."

Arthur leaned back into the couch, chuckling to himself as Thomas called people under him clowns. 

"That's not funny," Penny said with all seriousness as Arthur continued until it threw him into a laughing fit. I dropped the bowl of tasteless oatmeal and pick the smoke out of his hand, putting it in my mouth as I rubbed his back until the fit subsided. It lasted longer than it normally does, and Penny seemed uncaring about her son's condition, putting her empty bowl down on the table and walked out of the room.


	17. Laugh Out Loud

I tapped my foot on the tiled floor, waiting patiently for Arthur's appointment to be over. It was very empty for being a public program. The lights flickered every once and a while and the waiting room looked like it had seen better days. I'd been waiting for 15 minutes, twirling my thumbs around one another, not wanting to touch anything in the room. 

Arthur stormed out of the office, completely forget I ever came with him as he started out the door without me. I jumped up and followed after him, having to chase him down, he walked so fast. When we made it outside, he stopped to light up a smoke, giving me a chance to catch my breath.

"What happened, Arthur?"

He let out a frustrated sign, running a hand through his hair. "They cut the funding to social services. Who am I going to talk to?" He seemed lost in the moment, wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out something. I laid a hand on his arm, causing the wheel to pause as he turned to face me.

"You can talk to me, or we can find you a new social worker somewhere. Maybe at my hospital or somewhere else if it makes you feel better." I gave his arm a squeeze. "We'll figure it out." I offered him a kind smile, but this made Arthur angry. He pulled away from me.

"You don't understand! I have no job and money is running out. I can't afford to just go and find someone else. This was my only hope." He moved away from me, leaning against the building, with his head in his hands, covering his face from my view.

I stood there, internally thinking of everything I could do to help him. I would offer to pay for them, but Arthur was too proud to accept it. Maybe he wasn't. He seemed so upset, I've never seen him like this before. He never yelled at me before. Maybe if we could find him some insurance, somehow. Then it hit me.

I went and leaned next to Arthur, still wrapped up in his own misery to notice me. I Smiled to myself, knowing I was going to put everything out there and if it didn't work ... well, I didn't want to think about it.

"I love you, Arthur." I said to him, watching him freeze up from the meaningful words. "Marry me."

"WHAT?!" He shouted, hand ripped from his head and his head turned to look at me as if I grew two heads. "Marry you?"

"Yes." I walked in front of him, grabbing his hands in mine, looking at them instead of his eyes. "I love you and I don't want you to suffer. If we get married, you could get onto my insurance and then you wouldn't have to worry about finding a social worker. I have pretty good insurance by working at the hospital." I looked up at him, with all seriousness in my eyes. "So, marry me."

"Sandra...."

"You don't have to love me back, I understand if you don't and it's okay. I rather know that you're getting the help you need instead of suffering the way you do. I figured-"

I didn't get a chance to finish what I was saying. Arthur grabbed my face in his hands and pulled me into a kiss. It was firm and passionate, comforting all the feelings I felt for Arthur, he felt the same for me. He pulled back, my eyes were glazed over in a haze, a bit dizzy inside. 

"I feel the same way. I don't want you to think that I'm just going to marry you for your insurance." He said, taking a deep breath. "Plus I was hoping to be the one to ask you that question someday. Not just for your 'pretty good insurance.'" He pulled himself off the wall, wrapping an arm around my waist, grinning at me like a fool. "Ma wouldn't be too excited to hear if you were the one to ask me."

I couldn't stop myself from laughing, thinking of his mom's reaction. "Well, you were taking to long. I figured I make the first move." I teased him, as we walked down the sidewalk.

"Well, I must decline your offer, for I plan to propose to the girl of my dreams someday."

"Hopefully soon." I grinned, looking up at him with stars in my eyes.

"Let's go get ready for tonight," Arthur said as well made our path through the busy streets of Gotham.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I nervously sat in a table all by myself, waiting for Arthur to come on stage. This comic wasn't very funny as he talked about his girlfriend like she was a car. I ordered a glass of wine, hoping it would calm my nerves. I was so worried for Arthur, he wasn't good at talking to people normally, and getting up on stage in front of everybody must be terrifying. I wouldn't do it. 

I clapped along with everyone else as the guy finally got off of the stage. I sat up straight, with a huge smile on my face. Arthur was next.

"This next comic describes himself as a lifelong Gotham resident who from a young age was always told that 'his purpose in life was to bring joy and laughter into this cold, dark world.' Ummm... Okay." The crowd laughed, but at the host's pause, "please help me welcome, Arthur Fleck." I clapped loudly and whistled at him as he came onto the stage. He looked so happy, waving to the crowd as he came on stage.

I felt so proud of him, finally living his dream of being a stand-up comedian. He stood there, smiling but something was wrong as he started to laugh softly, then louder, unable to control it. My eyes widened, only being able to sit back and watch as the love of my life was having a laughing fit on the stage. 

It was painful to watch. It was forced, the sound of him gagging and coughing on his laughter. He finally got enough hold on it to stand straight back up at the microphone. I couldn't stop from frowning. I felt horrible for him, but the attack didn't seem to phase him as it usually does. He kept on smiling, trying to start the show.

"I- I hated school as a kid." He managed to get out before going into another attack. His hand clasped over his mouth, trying to hold it inside. "But my mother would always say," He stopped and cleared his throat. " 'You should enjoy it. One day.'" He started to laugh again, knocking into the microphone a bit, causing a loud noise, that was heard over his laughter. "'One day, you'll have to work for a living.'" He stopped to laugh again before continuing. "' No I won't, Ma. I'm gonna be a comedian!'"

Even I couldn't bring myself to laugh. I painfully smiled, as Arthur looked over at me for support. He smiled, and flipped through his joke book, looking for one of the jokes we went over. All of his jokes were good, but the delivery was less than desirable. He kept uncontrollably laughing between each joke, and everywhere else in between, ruining the set ups he had. It was like watching a train wreck. I couldn't look away. I felt a tear fall down my face as Arthur continued, almost in bliss, unaware of the crowd's reaction. They didn't find him funny, and for once, neither did I.

When the set was finally over, a few people clapped as Arthur made his way off of the stage. I meet him backstage, unsure of how to comfort him. It was awful and I'm sure Arthur would be very upset about it. I finally found Arthur, leaning against a wall backstage, laughing and holding himself. 

"Oh Arthur," I said, walking up to him and placing my hands on his shoulder.

"Did you hear them out there?" He asked, holding himself as he laughed. He calmed down a bit, before looking up at me with such pride and excitement in his eyes. "They loved me. They couldn't get enough of me."

"Arthur, I don't think-Wait, Arthur! Put me down!" Without warning, Arthur lifted me up and spun me around the room, giggling as he did. When he put me down, I was dizzy, trying to find my footing.

"I nailed every single joke. They couldn't stop laughing. I was amazing." He beamed so brightly, I just couldn't take it away from him. No one had laughed once at anything he said, myself included. He pulled my face close to his. "And I owe it all to you. My beautiful," Kiss. "Sexy," Kiss. "Incredible," Long kiss. "Perfect girlfriend. The future Mrs. Sandra Fleck."

He was so happy, I just couldn't. Maybe we could work on his act in the future, but for right now. This moment was his. "Is that a proposal?"

"No." He kissed me long and hard. "It's a promise." He kissed me again. "Let's go back to our place. I'll go check on mom while you get ready at your place, where we can-" He reached down and grabbed a big handful of my ass. "celebrate." I couldn't help but smile as he pulled me out of Pogo's and into the cold night air, as we nearly ran all the way home. We made out a bit in the elevator, before the door opened. I let go of him and exited, with Arthur giving me a slap on the ass on my way out. I gave him a fake mad look as he grinned like a Cheshier cat. "I'll be down in a few minutes." He said before the door sealed him away.


	18. Waiting

But he never came down.

When I got back to my apartment, I quickly changed to a new set of lingerie that I bought during the week. It was green, his favorite color. I laid back on the couch and waited for him to come down. 

I waited.

And waited..

And waited....

I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off in the next room. I groaned at the light shined in, lighting up a room that had been dark a few moments ago...or felt like moments ago. I wiped the drool off of my face and stretched, starting the day stiff was not how I thought it would be. 

As I got ready for work, I got worried about what happened to Arthur last night. He never came down, which was unusual. He was having the greatest night of his life, what happened with his mom that could have been so bad. I decided to check on them before I went to work.

As I opened my front door to leave, I found a piece of paper taped next on it, addressed to me. I carefully took it to find a note from Arthur.

~I didn't want to bother you cents you were sleeping. I need to go out of the city today as a favor for mom. I will be back tonite. -Arthur~

I frowned at his letter. He never told me about any business he had to do for his mother. Maybe he just forgot to tell me. I shrugged it off for now, figuring we could talk about it tonight. I closed the door and headed off to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I couldn't stop the huge smile from forming on my face as I practically walked on air as I made my way back home. Since Doug hadn't come back to work, they terminated his position and offered it to me. They had seen how I turned around the coordination department and thought I would be perfect to help turn the hospital around. They even offered to pay for my school so I could get certified for it. They saw something in me that could make the care at the hospital better, without having to use my mom's name to get into the door. I did it. Me!

I made it back to the apartment complex, excited to tell Arthur about the wonderful news. I knocked on his apartment door and turned the knob to find it surprisingly unlocked. I stepped into the apartment, setting my backpack by the door and taking off my shoes. I went into the bedroom, to check on Penny but was surprised to see her not there. 

I stepped out into the living room, double-checking to see if she was there, when I saw the bathroom door closed. I went over and knocked on it. "Penny, it's Sandra. Just making sure you're okay." I got no answer. I knocked again. "Penny? I'm going to open the door." With caution, I slowly opened the door to find Penny laying on the floor.

I gasped. "Penny!" I got down on the floor, checking for a pulse. It was weak. I began to shake her. "Penny, can you hear me?" She didn't stir. I quickly got an ambulance on the phone and they came as quickly as they could. I didn't know where Arthur was, I didn't know where to even start looking. I just left a quick note and followed the medics out of the building.

As we reached the ambulance, Arthur finally showed up after being missing all day. "Mom?" I heard him call out, rushing over the medic when I grabbed him by the arm. "What happened?"

"Who are you?" the Medic asked, not taking away from his focus on Penny.

"I'm her son," Arthur said, ignoring me and talking to the medic. "What happened?"

"Your wife found her in the bathroom unconscious. You can help fill in some blank she couldn't. Get in the back of the ambulance." The medic interested us as they got her inside. Once they had her inside, Arthur and I jumped in. It was scary, Arthur looked scared. I grabbed onto his arm, trying to comfort him, but he ignored that I was even there, the wheels continuously turning in his head. 

Something had happened last night after Arthur left me. He never ignored me like this. So up in his own head. "I came home to find her in the bathroom. I didn't know where you were to call you."

He continued to ignore me as the door shut and the vehicle drove off into the direction of the nearest hospital.


	19. Is It Really Living?

Beep....

Beep...

Beep...

The heart monitor was the only noise as I sat, alone, with Penny. Arthur was filling out paperwork, leaving me nothing better to do than sit here with her. They brought her to my hospital and a few nurses stopped in, bringing me coffee and offered support. I smiled weakly at them all, unable to put my heart into it. Penny was the only one Arthur had, other than me. I didn't want something to happen to her, she seemed like a .... sweet woman.

I went through two cups of coffee by the time Arthur made it back to the room, smelling of freshly smoked tobacco. He sat down beside me, with his head in his hands. He looked a mess.

"They said it was a stroke." This was the first time Arthur spoke to me in twenty-four hours.

I rubbed his back, softly as Arthur tried to make sense of all this. "She's going to be okay. People survive strokes and continue on with life."

"What kind of life is this?" He asked, raising his head from his hands. He took a look at her before looking down to the ground. "It's not like she did a whole lot before coming here."

I didn't answer him, just keep rubbing his back. We sat in silence. I didn't want to upset him anymore then he was, but there was something I had to know. "Where were you last night?"

"You ask me this now? As my mother is lying there, dying?" He overreacted, turning his whole body to me. I could tell he was very upset.

"I didn't mean anything by it. I just-"

"Mom and I got into a fight last night and I didn't want to come take it out on you, so I stayed up at my apartment. You know we don't have to be together every minute of the day." He shouted at me as if it was my fault for asking a simple question.

I looked down, trying not to let his words effect me as much as they did. The silence came back, a tense air hung between us. I kept my hands to myself, removing all contact with him. 

"I'm sorry," I whispered, not knowing what else to say. I didn't want him angry at me anymore, but with his mom in this hospital, unsure if she'll live or not, had him on edge. I didn't glance up at him as I felt him freeze beside me.

"Knock knock!" A cheerful voice filled the room, causing Arthur and me to jump at the sudden noise. I looked up to see Jenna, a night nurse that usually works on the children's ward, holding a cup of coffee. "I heard you were up here and figured you could use a cup." She frowned when she saw Arthur. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here too. I can run down and see a second cup." She offered, but I stopped her.

"That's alright," I said, getting up to take the coffee from her. "We can share." I handed the coffee to Arthur, who just stared at our interaction. "Thank you for coming to check on us. We appreciate it." I smiled as widely as I could but knowing it didn't reach my eyes.

"You're welcome, Sandra." She cheerful as, as she looked up at the TV that wasn't on. She reached up and turned it on. The Murray Franklin Show was about to start. "Oh, why don't you two keep up on some late-night television. I'll let you know what the doctors find as soon as I can. I'll be at the nurse's station if you need anything."

"Thank you, Jenna. We will." I said as she walked out of the room, leaving Arthur and I alone once more. I sat back down, grabbing his hand that wasn't holding the coffee, just holding it. I made little patterns in his skin, which seemed to relax him a bit.

"So I told my youngest son, Tommy, remember he's the 'not so bright' one, I told him that the garbage strike is still going on. And he says, and I'm not kidding, Tommy says, "So where are we gonna get all our garbage from?" This made Arthur chuckle a bit, relaxing a lot more than he had before. It made me genuinely smile, for the first time in the past few hours.

"And finally, in a world where everyone thinks they could do my job, we got this videotape from the Gotham Comedy Club. Here's a guy who thinks if you just keep laughing, it'll somehow make you funny. Check out this joker."

Suddenly, Arthur was on TV, standing in the Pogo's lounge, with a wide smile on his face. "I- I hated school as a kid." His voice rang clear throughout the room. 

"Oh my god!" Both Arthur and I shouted, he jumped to his feet to get a closer look at the TV. While his voice was filled with excitement, mine was filled with dread. 

"They're playing my clip, Sandra! This is my big break!" He said excitedly, not taking his eyes off of himself. 

Murray came back on the screen, shaking his head. "You should have listened to your mother." The Audience erupted into laughter. I sat there, staring at the back of Arthur as his shoulder slowly began to sink. "One more, Bernie. Let's see one more. I love this guy."

The video continued as Arthur stood there, unmoving. "It's funny, when I was a little boy and told people I wanted to be a comedian, everyone laughed at me. Well no one is laughing now." And there was no laughing on the clip as Arthur stood on that stage, smiling like a fool that was wasn't in on the joke. Murray came back on. "You got that one right pal." And the audience roared with laughter at Arthur's expense. 

I sat there, watching as Arthur began to shake. "I-I don't understand." I heard his heartbreak as the word flowed out of his mouth. "They were laughing. They were laughing last night. I heard them." He turned to me, with a heartbreaking expression on his face. He was paler than usual, a look of despair as his eye pleaded to me to say it wasn't true. "You were there. You heard them cheering and laughing. You were laughing too."

"Arthur," I said, getting up and reaching for him, but he pulled away, out of my reach.

"NO! Tell me! You were laughing. You loved my jokes more than anyone else in that room. I heard them laughing. They thought I was the funniest act all night. Tell me you heard them."

I looked at him as he tried to make sense of why I wasn't answering him. "Arthur. No one was laughing last night." My words broke the man I loved more than anything, but I couldn't lie to him. "You did all your joke right, but you kept having laughter fits and they didn't hit like they should have. I'm so sorry."

I tried to reach for him again, but he backed farther away from me. I crushed his spirit. He turned away and walked out of the room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn't see Arthur for at all the next. I spent the night with his mother, sleeping on that uncomfortable bench they had in the room, not wanting to be by myself that night. I went straight down to my office, getting to work as I woke up and got a cup of coffee. I drowned myself in work all day.

I just keep busy until the wee hours of the night, mostly so I didn't have to go home. I couldn't bring myself to face Arthur or the reality that we might be over with. My heart couldn't take it. When I finished work, I went back up to sit with Penny again, listening to the television while drinking another cup of coffee.

After another night and workday at the hospital, Jenna sent me home, telling me I needed to at least take a shower and change my clothes. I walked home slowly that night, despite the rain, delaying the arrival at an empty apartment.

But when I got there, I was surprised to find my apartment door open and I wasn't alone. I found Arthur, sitting on my couch. His head was low, hair soaking wet. His face was down, I was unable see his face but I knew it was him.

"Arthur?" I asked, putting my back pack down, walking over to him cautiously. Something about Arthur screamed to use caution. I reached over to the lamp by the desk and turned it on, giving us a little bit of light in the darkroom. He didn't move as I got closer to him. His voice rang through the room, it was deep and dark, lack of emotion was present. 

"I had a bad day."

He finally looked up at me with broken, lost eyes. Sorrow was present on his face, looking as if he had lost everything. I noticed something on my coffee table I hadn't noticed before. It was a brown folder. He slowly motioned for me to take it, and I did. I looked at the cover to find it had 'P. Fleck' on it, wondering why Arthur had a medical file of his mother. 

I opened it to find that she had a lot of medical issues, ranging from delusion to a personality disorder and even was arrested for child abuse. Wait! 

Child abuse? 

There were new articles of a woman abusing her child. They found him tied to a radiator and underfeed, with wounds all over his body. There was a photo of the child too. Judging by how old Arthur is and how old the report was made, I came to the conclusion that the photo of the child was Arthur. 

"Oh Arthur," I said, not know how to react to this new information. From the look on Arthur's face of hopelessness, neither did he. 

"She was my mother. Mothers are supposed to protect their child from harm. She let him do whatever he wanted to me." He was broken, a broken shell of a man, who was let down by the one person he had his whole life. I dropped the file back down on the coffee table and went up to Arthur, wrapping my arms around him.

He never cried. I don't know if he just didn't want to in front of me or if he was just so numb to everything at this point. 

"She told me Thomas Wayne was my father." He mumbled as his face sunk deeper between my breast, as if they could stop the world from getting to him. "I went to see him last night. He told me she was obsessed with him, that she made the whole thing up. I went to Arkham to find out if it was true. She was using me to try to get Thomas to believe they had something. I was abandoned and she used me as a prop in her delusion."

I continued to hold him, stroking his hair, trying to make it all better, but nothing I could do would make this better. He was hurting and all I could do was to let him hurt while I kept him company. After a while, we went to bed, where Arthur stripped us down and just held onto me all night long.


	20. Feeling Is Too Much Sometimes

The next morning, Arthur and I went to the hospital, his mood still hadn't lightened but he came with me anyway. I left him in my office while I visited with the children. I hadn't seen them in a few days, and they were excited to see me and tell me about their days. I brought a few more books and tons of crayons for them to have, which they ate up like hotcakes. Sally had drawn me a picture of me and I told her how much I loved it and would at it to my collection.

When I went back downstairs, I found Arthur staring at my wall of art. I smiled at him as I put the last masterpiece up on the wall. He watched me as I smiled proudly at my last piece.

"Why do you put them up here? They aren't you're children, Why do you care?" He asked, not taking his eyes off of the latest picture of me. 

"Because they're kids. They are so innocent and they worked really hard to make these pictures just for me to enjoy. It's only right I put it somewhere I can see them."

"Why care what they think?"

I almost looked at him, cocking my head to the side. "Why do you care if they laugh at you when you're a clown? It means that I'm doing my job right, making sure these kids are happy and cared for."

He never questioned me after that. He turned and walked out of my office, telling me he was going for a smoke. It was a few hours and Arthur never came back, but one of the nurses came down to tell me that Penny had died. I left work early, looking for Arthur from the parking lot to our apartments. I tried his apartment throughout the rest of the night, between packs of cigarettes. I had no idea if he knew what happened to his mother or not, the nurse didn't say otherwise.

It was the next day when I saw Arthur again, it was in the middle of the afternoon. I called off work, due to the loss and they gave me a few days of leave for the loss of a 'family member'. I lied, but I figured Arthur might need me at some point. He came pounding on my door, with a grin on his face as he stood in the doorway, with shopping bags in hand.

"Hey Sandy, how you been?" He said as if he had no cure in the world. 

"Arthur? Are you okay?" I was confused. Didn't he know about his mother?

"I'm doing just great, for the first time in my life." He said smirking as if he knew something I didn't. "I need your help." grabbing a hold of my wrist and pulling me out of the apartment. We walked up the stairway to his apartment, where he pulled me in and locked the door behind him. "I got a call yesterday from the studio where they do the Murray Franklin Show, they want me to come on tonight." He reached into the bag, pulling out a bottle of green hair dye. "I need help dying my hair. It's for my new act."

"And you're dying your hair green?"

"Let's face it, the green wig I was wearing was so fake and ugly." He grabbed my hand and ran it throw his hair, giving it a tug. "This is the real deal. Don't you think I'd look good in green?" He grinned, laughing as if he told a joke. I awkwardly smiled, running my hands through his hair and grabbed his face. 

"If that will make you happy, I'd be happy to help." He giggled as he put the bottle in my hand and went into the bathroom, stripping out of his clothes along the way. I looked over the directions as I mixed the ingratiates together. Arthur sat on the side of the tub, his back to me, waiting with excitement. 

"Arthur, We need to talk about your mom."

"There's plenty of time to talk about that later. Right now let's focus on the task at hand." He answered, wiggling around in his underwear.

I got started, putting the dye in his hair, trying to make to make sure I got all of the brown hair. He giggled a lot, figiting a lot, unable to keep still he was so giddy. "There. All done." I said, put the empty bottle on the sink. He jumped up and looked in the mirror, excited to see the dye in. "We need to leave it in for 30 minutes then rinse it out." I looked in the mirror with Arthur, he made funny faces at me and I made some back. I grabbed a piece of my hair, twirling it in my fingers. "What if I dye my hair? I've always wanted to do something crazy, like purple or blue."

"No." Was all Arthur said, as if the was the final word on the subject. 

"But you get to dye your hair. Why can't I?" I continued to look at myself. "Maybe pink. Wouldn't I look cool with pink hair."

Arthur grabbed the hand that had my hair in it, and pushed my body back, slamming me into the wall next to the sink. My eyes widen and I was struck with fear at the sudden action. Arthur wasn't giddy anymore, he looked pissed. 

"You can't dye your hair." He snarled at me. "You're perfect the way you are." Part of me felt flattered at this complaint, but it was buried under the sense of panic I left as the grip Arthur hand on me got tighter. "Don't go changing what isn't yours to mess with."

"'Isn't mine to mess with'?" I quoted back at him, giving him a soul piercing look. "And just who's is it?"

He smirked at this and leaned closer to my face. "It's mine of course." He grabbed both of my hands in his, pinning them above my head. His free hand grabbed my hair, moving it in front of my face. "This hair is mine." His hand moved to my lips. "These lips are mine." His hand traveled down my body, tracing over the marks that were almost faded on my neck. "This neck is mine." His hand went farther down, grabbing my left breast, giving it a painful squeeze. "These tits are mine." His hand went down even more. "And this," He said his hand slipped right into my pants, cupping my heat, causing me to give a shameful moan as he did. "This is especially mine." 

He slid his hand back out, to unbuckle my pants, pushing them down a bit and went right back to action. I couldn't stop the moan as he worked his magic on my nerve, giving me such a wave of pleasure.

"You gave this to me. It's mine. Only I can do this for you. Only I can make you feel this good." I recalled Arthur saying some dirty stuff while we were in the moment, I didn't think he would take it on that level. I moaned as his fingers moved deeper, and his inserted two finger inside of me, causing me to call out in pleasure, whimpering his name. "See, I can make you feel so good. Now, who do you belong to?"

I refused to answer, not wanting to give into his game. He caught on to what I was doing and decided to take it up a notch. He began to move his hand at a very fast speed, slamming his palm into my nerve as he did. I called out, my hips moved on their own and I felt my end coming near and just as I felt it, the finger left my body.

I cried out in agony, wanting to cum so badly. I looked at Arthur, who was grinning from ear to ear as he brought his hand up to his mouth. "Awww, were you almost there?" He asked, giving his finger a lick extremely slowly. I weakly nodded, hoping he would finish the job or let me finish it. "Well too bad." He didn't put his hand back, only traced his fingers up and around my chest, avoiding the nipple every time. It was like torture. "If you want to cum, all you have to do it tell me one. little. thing." His hand reached my chin, making me look him in the eyes. He looked mad with power over me, and I was letting him. "Who do you belong to?"

I shook my head, not giving him and answer. His hand went back down between my legs, making me scream as they continued thirsting inside of me, bringing me closer and closer until he pulled away again at the last second. "Who do you belong to?" I looked to the floor, panting, unable to control myself. I was so needy. I needed it so badly. 

"You." I whispered, hoping that would get me what I wanted. He chuckled and brought my chin back up so I would look him in the eyes.

"I didn't quite hear that. Could you repeat that?" He put his hand to his ear, making sure he could hear me this time. 

"You." I said a bit louder, but not much. This didn't please him as I hoped. His hand went back in between my legs, going at an ungodly speed, causing me to scream out. 

"WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?" He shouted at me as I felt myself get so close once more.

"YOU! I belong to you!"

"And if you want to dye your hair, who do you ask?"

"YOU!! YOU! YOU!" I chanted you as if he was the only word I could say. He smirked at me, giving me a kiss on the head.

"That's my good kitten. Good kitty get rewarded."

His finger keep going and didn't stop as I reached my climax, giving a loud scream as I saw stars in my vision. He didn't let up, his finger keep going, milking my climax for everything I was worth. My body went into overdrive, trying to pull away, it was far to much to handle. He finally stopped, pulling his finger out and brought them up to his mouth again, licking off my juices, making himself groan as he did.

I felt him let go of my arm and my body slid down to the floor, twitching and shaking as I tried to recover from what just happened. Arthur smiled down at me, leaning over to pat my head. 

"Aww, is my kitten worn out." He was suddenly giving me a pet name, which was something he never did before. It was odd. Nice, but odd. He shimmied out of his underwear and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me by it. As I stood on my own to feet, wobbling around a bit, he began to pull at my clothes, getting them off of my form. He then picked me up like a sack of potatoes and plopped me right back on my feet, in the tub. "Time's up, kitten." He got into the tub with me and pulled the shower curtain around us. "Time to wash this shit out."

As we washed the green dye out, we ended up having shower sex, which was a first for me but very fun. I was high off of sex, that pushed all the worry and concern down deep as I was happy again, with Arthur. I watched him paint his face in his mother's old mirror, as I laid in the bed, in one of Arthur's shirt. It was a sight to be seen. He did it very carefully, wanting to make sure it was perfect.

"What time are we going tonight for the show?"

"We?" He asked, not stopping his work to look at me. 

"Yes, we. You're going on television. I want to be there."

"You're not going." was all he said, still not looking at me. I got a bit pissed, getting up from the bed I was laying on, walking up next to the vanity and looking Arthur in the face as he still wouldn't look at me. 

"Why not? I want to support you. This is a big deal."

"Because I said so." He set down his paintbrush. "Or," He looked up at me, with a wicked smile. "Did I need to teach you another listen on I'll do what I want with what's mine."

I blushed, thinking about what happened in the bathroom a little bit ago. "I'm serious Arthur. I want to go."

"And I said no." 

I huffed as I went into the bathroom, grabbing my clothes off the floor and began to walk out of the apartment. Arthur followed me, calling out for me to come back. I opened the front door just as a fat man was about to knock on it, scaring the shit out of me. 

"Hey there. Does Arthur live here?" A small voice said as I looked down to see a small man with the fat man. 

"Holy shit. When she said she was with him, I didn't believe awkward Arthur actually would be able to snag a girl this hot." The fat man said, making me feel awkward standing there in nothing but Arthur's button-up shirt. Arthur was right behind me, looking emotionless as he saw the two men at his door.

"He has a big dick." I said as I pushed passed the men, taking the stairs down to my floor, not wanting to be around him anymore. I had a plan to see Arthur tonight, but I need to make a few calls to put the plan into action.


	21. Murray Franklin Live!

"Thank you, Marsha. I've never been to a show, let alone a live one." I said, trying to be as giddy as possible. I managed to get myself ready, making a few calls and track down Marsha, the mother of one of the children that spent a few weeks at the hospital. She just so happened to work on the studio they film the Murray Franklin show, and she had promised if I ever wanted to see a show, she would get me in. 

"Everything you did for Jackson at the hospital, it's the least I could do." She said as we went through the back of the stage, making our way up to the audience setting. She pointed out a seat, near the edge of the stage, nose bleed seating. But those were better than nothing.

"I can't thank you enough." I said, as I took my seat. I was early, there were only a few seats filled, as they slowly shuffled into the audience. I couldn't stop myself from fretting in my seat, waiting for the magic hours to start. What felt like forever, more and more seats were filled and they were about to start.

As the show started and continued on, the more and more jokes they made between Murray and "Dr. Sally" segment they were doing, made me realize they weren't bringing Arthur on because they liked him. They were going to bring him on to make fun of him. On live television. 

I tried to get up, but some man with a headset kept motioning me to sit down, giving me no chance to go find and warning Arthur. They began to play the clip they showed a few days ago

"O-kay, you may have seen that clip of our next guest when we first played at the beginning of the week. Now before he comes out, I just want to say that we're all heartbroken here and sensitive to what's going on in the city tonight. But, this is how he wanted to come on the show. So let me introduce-- The Joker!"

The music played and I watched as Arthur came out from behind a curtain, dancing around the stage. He was wearing his red suit, with a bright blue button-up and yellow vest. He was in full clown face as well. He then walked over to Murray and shook his hand, moving up the stage, giving a deep kiss to the 'Dr. Sally' as he finally sat down. 

"It's good to have you on the show," Murray said, but Arthur seemed star-struck, not responding to Murray at all. The crowd laughed a bit, as Murray asked him, "Are you okay?"

"This is exactly how I imagined it." He said an awkward smile on his face, looking around the room.

"That makes one of us." The crowd laughed at Murray, but I didn't. This was going to hurt. "When we spoke earlier, you mentioned that this look is not a political statement, is that right?"

"That's right, Murray. I'm not political. I'm just trying to make people laugh."

"And how's that going for ya?" The crowd laughed at him, and Arthur laughed along with the joke. "So, I know you're a comedian. Have you been working on any new material? You want to tell us a joke?"

The crowd cheered and Arthur smiled, grabbing his joke book, skimming the pages until the landed on a joke.

"Knock knock."

"A book for a knock-knock joke?"

"I want to make sure I get it right." He said, not looking pleased as the audience laughed at him. "Knock Knock."

"Who's there?"

"It's the Police, ma'am. Your son has been hit by a drunk driver. He's dead." Some people in the crowd gasped, but most just stayed quite. That wasn't one of the jokes we went over before, was it new? The band played a sad note.

"That's not funny, Arthur. That's not the kind of humor we do on this show."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just, you know, it's been a rough few weeks, Murray, ever since I killed those three wall-street guys." My heart dropped to my stomach. Arthur wouldn't have killed those men. He couldn't hurt a fly. The crowd went eerily silent as Arthur made the confession. 

"Okay, I'm waiting for the punchline." Murray said, getting uncomfortable with the subject at hand.

"There is no punchline. It's not a joke." My heart dropped even farther. Not my Arthur. I couldn't listen anymore, my whole body went numb as I just stared at the exchange that continued between the two men, but I couldn't understand what was going on. I felt so lost. I was completely in love with someone who killed those three men. How could I justify this actions and stay with him. 

"YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE!" I snapped back into reality to hear Arthur shout, as he whipped out a gun and shot Murray point-blank in the face. The crowd screamed as people start to shout and run out of the studio in every direction. 

"ARTHUR!" I shouted above the noise, gaining Arthur's attention after he put another bullet into Murray. He dropped the gun on the desk and looked over to me in shock that I was there. Awhile he did look shock, he didn't look ashamed at what he had down. He quickly gained control and walked off the set, grabbing the camera and put it on his face.

"And always remember. That's life." He dropped the camera and causally walked backstage. Turning back to me, giving me a wink as he disappeared behind the curtain. I tried to get over to him, but people keep pushing and blocking him from me. By the time I finally found him, he was in the back of a police car driving away.

I called out his name, over and over again, trying to keep up with the car but it was gone in the chaos, and the riots began to get out of hand. The street were literally on fire. I ran through the street, avoiding people as they came near me, running for my life. People were breaking into stores and homes, fighting in the middle of the sidewalks, tormenting people as they passed by. 

I was running so fast, I came to a crowd of people gathered around a man and he stood on top of a car, holding his arms up in victory. People were cheering for him, shouting his name.

"Joker. Joker. Joker."

I stopped, staring at the man I loved, front and center of all this chaos, proud of what he has done. I felt tears fall down my face and the crowd grew around him. This wasn't my Arthur, this was Joker. 

I felt a blinding pain and the world around me suddenly went black.


	22. Hardest Pill To Swallow

I could only stare at him, as he sat on the other side of the glass. He had cuffs on his hands, and smoked a cigarette while holding the connecting phone to his ear, waiting patiently for me to pick up the other end. I just stared. I didn't know what to say. After everything that happened.

BEEP.....

BEEP....

BEEP......

These were the first sounds I heard as I came back to the land of the living. I opened my eyes and was blinded by all of the light, white surfaces that surrounded me. I turned my head to find I was also surrounded by handmade 'get well' cards. I looked up to see I was hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV was connected to my arm. I couldn't make out what the bag read, but it must have been for dehydration. 

"Well, it's about time. You know I hate to wait." I turned my head to the opposite side of the room, to find my mother sitting there, with a table in front of her, scattered with paper, probably work related. "And I've been waiting for you to wake up for three days."

"Three days?"

"Yes, you've been out for five." She moved the table aside, grabbing her mini flashlight, grabbing my eyelids and blinding me even more. "Pupils are dilating, which is good." She then reached down, tapping my arm, which had a cast on it. "You were hit by a car. Luckily for you, it was going at a slow speed. You're left arm is broken in the humerus, a few broken ribs, cuts and bruises that will heal over time, but otherwise fine."

"Why are you here?" She looked down at me with no emotions.

"You still have me on your emergency contact." She sat back down, going back to her paperwork. "I was on the other side of the country, speaking at a convention when I got the call, or else I would have been here sooner."

"Why are you here?" I asked again, not believing for a minute that she would come just because she was my emergency contact. 

"You're my daughter. Of course, I'd come."

"Bullshit," I said, giving me a glare. "I've known you my entire life and not once did you give a shit whether I was alive or dead, and now you show up because you got a call." I leaned my head back against the pillow. "Bullshit."

"Sandra." She said before clearing her throat and continuing. "I'm still your mother. Whether you believe me or not, I do care if you're alive or dead."

"Then where have you been my whole life?"

"I was there."

"When it was convenient for you!" I shouted at her, causing the heart monitor to beep loudly as my heart rate went through the roof. "You were never home! Always working or work parties, and if you weren't there you were off fucking a different guy every night!" She stared at my outburst, taken back that I said that too her. "You weren't there for me when I was bullied in school. You weren't there when I graduated high school at the top of my class, or when I was the top in my college."

"I was working, providing you with the best life any kid could ask for."

"I came home from school to an empty house. I ate alone. I sat in the dark, alone. When you came home, you were never alone. One man after another, as I sat alone. Wondering what I did to make you not want to be with me." I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face. "I remember getting my period for the first time and the nurse asking me if my mother explained it to me. You didn't. You weren't there. I remember coming home after Taylor Jackson beat the living shit out of me. I bleed on the kitchen floor, cleaning up my wounds by myself." I looked her straight in the eye, trying to find some shred of emotion on her plastic face. "You told Doug I slept to get where I was and he tried to rape me a few weeks ago. Because of you, he thought it was okay to do whatever he wanted to me because that's was something I did." 

I actually cracked her perfect face with a look of pure shock upon hearing about the Doug had done to me. "If you care any fucking thing about me, you'd do what you do best. You'd walk out that door and leave me alone."

The nurse burst into the room, hearing the sound of the heart monitor going out of control. She told me to calm down as I watched my mom gather her papers, taking one last look at me, leaving the room to never return.

Beep...

Beep...

Beep...

I finally picked up the phone, just listening to Arthur exhale his cigarette on the other end.

"Hello, kitten." I stared at him, shifting in the hard steel chair. My ribs were still healing and my arm was in a sling. It had been two months since the riots and seven weeks since I was released from the hospital. I spent most of my time just sitting around my apartment, in my own self-pity, smoking and popping the pain meds they gave me for my arm and ribs. Valium. 

I found out from the news that they found another body in Arthur's apartment upon the investigation of the murder of Murray. It was the fat guy from the day I left Arthur's apartment. Arthur murdered him before going to the Murray show that evening. The news also talked of him being placed in Arkham Asylum, pleading insanity on all accounts of murders. 

I don't know why I came to the asylum. I was better off just forgetting about him, like him never coming into my life, but it was so hard. I didn't know I spent my whole life drowning until Arthur's presence pulled my head above water. He haunted my days and nights. I was daydreaming that he was with me and everything was okay as it had been. At night, I would replay over and over again the night he killed Murray. Coldblooded, without remorse. I needed to get him out of my system.

"Hello Arthur."

"I'm shocked it took you this long to come to me." He chuckled, taking a puff of his cigarette. "I'm disappointed, Kitten."

"I've been busy." I held up my arm in the sling. "It hasn't been easy since .... that night."

"I had to admit, I was shocked to see you in the audience that night. That wasn't part of the plan." He let out the smoke him his lips, looking so damn good as he did it. "If you had just stayed home as I told you too, like a good kitty cat, you wouldn't have gotten hurt the way you did."

"I wanted to support you," I said, trying not to cry. "I wanted to be there for you."

"You were gonna be safe at home. I knew you were going to get hurt when I went on that show." He smiled awkwardly. "I was going to kill myself, but things got a little...." He lifted his hand in the air, waving it in circles. "Out of hand." He began to laugh at his own joke. I just watched as his attack seemed to only last a few seconds versus the few minutes episodes in the past. "What do I owe this visit?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Am I that pretty?" He joked, giggling like a schoolgirl.

"I always thought you were beautiful," I said, not holding any of my thoughts back. I felt a tear slide down the slide of my face. This affected Arthur as he stopped giggling and put a serious face on for the first time since I got here. "I can't stop the nightmares." I looked him in the eyes, desperately trying to find the Arthur I once know in them. But he wasn't there. "Of the night you shot Murray."

"I told you to stay at home." He said, putting out the smoke in the little ashtray they gave him. "You wouldn't have these nightmares if you had just listened."

"I know." I whispered, "But that wouldn't have changed what happened before that." I could feel more tears coming down my face. "You killed five people, one of them on live tel-"

"Seven." He said as he began to count them on his hand, coming to the number seven. "I killed seven people."

"Seven?"

"Well, you know the three guys from the subway." He held up three fingers. "Then there was mom." He added one. "Then there was Randall." Another finger added. "Murray." He rised his other hand, adding one more finger. "See Seven." As he held up six fingers.

"That's six." Confused about how that was seven.

"Oh yeah." He lifted up the final finger. "I forgot about Doug." My heart dropped as he confessed to what happened to Doug. "He's buried so deep, even I forgot about him."

"You killed Doug," I stated, feeling numb to the news.

"After what he tried to do to you, of course, I did." He reached forward, pressing one of his hands to the glass. "He hurt my kitten, nearly broke her. He had to die."

"Arthur, I-"

"Joker." He cut me off, taking his hand away from the glass. "Arthur isn't here right now." He tapped the side of his head. "Right house, wrong person."

"I can't do this." I started to feel more tears run down my face. "I can't, I just can't." I began to cry silent tears and Arthur, I mean Joker watched me. "I can't live like this. Like everything is back to the way it was before all this shit happened." I did the most painful thing I could ever do. 

"I have to let you go," I whispered to myself more than to him.

"Kitten, you could never let me go." He pointed to his head again. "I'm in too deep now. You belong to me and I won't let you go."

"This is goodbye, Arthur." I continued to cry as I looked into his eyes, trying to talk to Arthur. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I thank you, but," I took a deep breath as the words left my lips loud enough for them to hear me. "I have to let you go."

"Kitten, you don't know what you're saying." He chuckled, trying to reason with me. "You're just upset is all. Once this all blows over, I-"

"Goodbye, Arthur," I said, before hanging up the phone. I stood up and Joker mirrored my action, shouting at me from the other side of the glass, but I couldn't hear him. I stepped back, pushing my chair in as he got up on the table, pounding on the glass, screaming with rage in his eyes. The guards on the other side tried to pile him off as I turned and walked away. 

As I was about to take my final step out the way, I heard the glass crack and a muffled scream came through ever so softly. 

"SANDRA!!!!"

But I didn't turn back. 

I keep walking down that empty corridor,

alone as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel coming soon....
> 
> Screaming In The Starlight


End file.
